plato caligula lucifersam apollo

Thursday, January 31, 2008

LOST Promos

I just loved the "theme song" promo ads they did last night during the season 3 finale rerun of LOST: Sawyer was George Thoroughgood's "Bad to the Bone" and Locke was Patsy Cline's "Crazy" (the latter was especially hilarious). I want to see ads like that for ALL the characters. i'm hoping they'll release something like that on the DVDs in the future.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Silly Cat Games

Apollo has taken to drowning his toys. We bought him a croaking metallic fabric frog, and he put it in his waterbowl. We thought that was rather cute, all the while hoping the water won't rust the croaking sound mechanism, since frogs belong in water. Then he did it to a toy mouse, and a toy rat, and then an abstract cloth triangular tassle cat toy thing. This morning while Stan was getting ready for work, I felt a cat on the bed, so I reached my hand out to him. I was surprised to feel sopping wet cat feet. I felt further and felt this really soggy fuzzy wet mess that wasn't part of the cat. It freaked me out a bit, mostly because it is a WET thing on the covers in a 60 degree house in the middle of a -30 degree windchill morning. I flung it. Later today he brought me another drowned toy mouse.

Odd cat. Never had one do that before.

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

You Can't Be Too Old to be Pissed Of by the Rock and Roll Illiterate

I know there are bigger things to be pissed off by in this world, and believe me, I am. But I've been a big music fan all my life, and when someone misattributes an almost incredibly obvious lyric, it just totally chaps my hide until it is in severe pain.

Look, I don't care if you're not a music fan, or don't care about lyrics, but to PRETEND you know something when it is so obvbiously WRONG, why quote it at all?

On a message board today, someone wrote this:

"Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss"
The Byrds

WTFH??!?

The Byrds? The Freakin' BYRDS? Everyone knows it was The Who (specifically, Pete Townsend's words).

Who is this person? I mean, I don't expect people like my parents to know any better, but they wouldn't go around misquoting and misattributing lyrics in a genre they didn't know anything about either.

I mean this is one of the most famous lyrics in rock, I just find it hard to believe that anyone who would CARE to quote it, would also MISATTRIBUTE the band.

Yeah, it takes all kinds.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

Court Composer

The Kennedy Clan just endorsed Obama and Chris Matthews (MSNBC) just compared Hilary Clinton to Antonio Salieri in Amadeus!

I love it!

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Friday, January 25, 2008

The Sitcom

A computer malfunction is just as stressful and evokes the same nauseous response from me as does one of my pets getting sick. I know it's not the same, I would never compare a pet to a computer, but it still makes me ill when I cannot get one to work right. We got Stan's "new used" computer back form the shop, and to make a long story short, things aren't working right, I mean we can't even get it to start sometimes. I'm hoping it's something they can diagnose, so we have to take it back again. It's driving me crazy. I just want our computer situation to be back to normal. It keeps costing us $ to fix these things too.

On a lighter side, and I do need to cheer myself up because of this computer crisis right now, my mind is wandering when it comes to the Clinton v. Obama fight and ends up in Seinfeldville. Warning: This is for hardcore Seinfeld fans only...it won't make sense unless you're extremely familiar with all the episodes:

First, there's the episode "The Cartoon" where comedian Kathy Griffin plays starting-out comedian Sally Weaver who accuses Jerry of ruining her life, goes on to have a one-woman show where she has a hand-held tape recorder dressed up with little red devil horns and a tail that is playing Jerry's voice. Sally is truly demented and is taking anything Jerry does/says and twists it for the purpose of her comedy act. I'm seeing Hilary Clinton as Sally, one woman show, with a little bedeviled tape recorder with Barack Obama's voice talking about how the Republicans had ideas (he didn't say "good" ideas, but Sally Weaver/Hilary Clinton would twist his words).

Then on the news last night, they were talking about how Clinton and Obama had to get along, possibly even run on the same ticket to save the Democratic party. This immediately brings to mind the episode "The Mango":

Elaine Hilary: Jerry Barack, we have to have sex run on the same ticket to save the friendship Party.
Jerry Barack: Sex Running together to SAVE the friendship Party. Well if we have to, we have to.

Someone with video mash up skills really should do this. Don't look at me, I just have the daydreams.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Two Cat Night

It's very cold here. We went to "Pugapalooza" on the coldest day of the year (last Saturday). Lucifer Sam had fun. He had a yearly exam this Tuesday and everything looks great...no new growths. The vet said the thing on his back last fall was probably a cyst since it has now disappeared.

The week before that, we took Caligula and Plato to the vet's. Caligula has a slight heart murmur, and we got some new diet food for him....hopefully this stuff will work.

Plato also has a slight heart murmur, which is slightly higher than Caligula's, but they said it's nothing too much to be concerned about unless it gets worse. He also has a cataract in his (left?) eye, but they say they rarely operate on that if he can still see to get around. His blood tests also came back slightly elevated (just a little higher than normal) in the liver function and some gall bladder enzyme, which could be the precursor of "Cushing's disease" (which manifests itself differently in dogs than humans). Evidently it's very common. We will need to retest in the spring to see if it is continuing to rise or not. It's nothing out of the normal in dogs his age. It's just a matter to prepare ourselves that he is getting old and will start to have problems. He's 11...almost 11.5. He sleeps almost all day in this weather. I want to too.

Apollo is still half sweetness and light, and half demonspawn. During "normal" weather we keep the bedroom door closed as it helps alleviate Stan's snore problem to not have cat fur on the bed. But in this subarctic cold, we keep it open, otherwise that room is just too cold when it's shut. Last night Apollo crawled under the covers. I was afraid he was going to suffocate, so I couldn't sleep the whole time he was under there because I was worrying about waking up to a dead kitten. Finally, he started to bite my legs, so I squeezed him out the bottom of the bed. It was so cold, Stan even welcomed Caligula, the biggest furmaker of them all, on the bed. Bed's too high for the dogs...they sleep in their kennel bunkies. So it's not really a three dog night, just a two cat night.

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A "Thursday Mornings Suck to Wake Up To" Quiz

1) You see an item you want online, but you need X amount of them. As you are going through the process of purchasing it, you realize there is only ONE of the items available. You:

a) You hold off on buying the item and email the seller first and ask him/her if there is anymore available.
b) Go ahead and buy the item. You'll email the seller and ask for more AFTER you buy it.



2) You email the seller at 10:00 pm. You then check your email the following morning, at 7 am and see that the seller has not responded. You:

a) Assume that they have not yet received your email from the night before (it's only been 9 hours, most of it was during the night) and give it at least 12-24 hours from the first email to contact them again.
b) Email them AGAIN immediately and ask them to respond to your first email.


You responded:

All As: You are a sane person. Your decisions are based on logic an understanding of how people and the world work. I want you for a customer.

One A, one B: You are a bit impulsive. You need to read instructions more thoroughly and realize the world doesn't revolve around you. With a little experience and learning the hard way, you can hopefully turn into an A-type.

All Bs: You need to stay away from commerce, especially the internet where you have to wait for emailed responses, however I'm sure brick and mortar sellers think you're no picnic either. My advice? Go away. Now. Please.

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Read my lips, stupid, it's the F&&#*@G economy!

I have to apologize to Stan because we got into an argument of semantics off-blog regarding the stupid rebate and just what it entails. I thought it was a rebate, plain and simple, $800 per person and $1500 or $1600 per couple (I've heard varying reports).

Now I hear via WPR that it's a rebate on your taxes, i.e., you need to have PAID that much in taxes first before you can be rebated on it. So if you do not OWE any tax, i.e., you do not earn enough money to pay tax, you get NADA. But if you make enough money, you WILL get the rebate. According to what I heard on the radio, the more you make, the more of this rebate you will see (up to a point...they also say that those making over $XXX,XXX will not get a rebate).

So if you earn $90,000 you get the whole enchilada, and if you earn $12,000, you get SQUAT. If you have worked all your life and paid taxes and now live on social security, you too get squat.

Explain to me the logic in this. The people who would NEED the money the most get nothing? Whereas the ones who will use Uncle George's Fun Pack like Gramma's Xmas money to buy some energy consuming status gadget WILL get it?

It's like the way Stan and I joke with eachother pretending to be a rich republican politician: "Why give the poor the money? They're not using it."

The Repugnican's (and obsequious Democrat's) logic in this is that they don't want it to be a welfare handout. Oh no, wouldn't want to help the citizens of your country who aren't as fortunate as you, oh no. They must be punished.

And before anyone gives me the "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" argument, let me say this: Some people don't have bootstraps. How the hell can you pull yourself up without bootstraps? Some people weren't even told WHERE to get the bootstraps. Or maybe they were told by people who used bootstraps A LONG TIME AGO on how to acquire bootstraps, but that store is no longer in business and that info is completely useless.

This is why this whole stimulus package is pure bogosity. Use the money to fix our infrastructure, highways, bridges, or put it into research developing sustainable fuels. Like the space race of the 1960s put it into research to find eco-friendly and independence from foreign fuel.

Or Bush can take the stimulus package and shove it up his ass. I'd like to see that one on YouTube.

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Monday, January 21, 2008

DREAM with Nazis and College Students

This dream might have been influenced by something that was on the radio this morning. I dreamt I was in a small crowd of people, and there were young white supremacists there. They were getting booed by the crowd, and I yelled at them and told them they were Nazis. The white supremacists started to leave and one guy (tall, short almost shaved head) came up to me and I thought he was going to be violent, but he hugs me and he says "you don't really hate us, do you?" And I said "Yes I do!" and tried to shirk away from his hug.

Later in the dream, or possibly it was a precursors to the Nazi part--I can't recall which, I was amongst a whole bunch of college students. We were all walking toward something in a migration, and I wasn't walking. I was moving by pulling myself along with my hands, as if I had no legs. My hands were getting sore from the concrete. Then I was in a classroom and I felt completely out of place because everyone was so young, less than half my age.

I know there was more, but i can't remember it.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

It's the Stupid Economy* and DREAM

They were talking about The Stupid Economy, Stupid, on the radio this morning, and Bush's silly "stimulus package" (ew, that sounds dirty). I dozed off momentarily into dreamland:

Stan and I were sitting in a ski lift (?WTF?) and we were discussing Bush's silly "stimulus package" (ew again). I was saying how ridiculous it was to give people a one-time $800, and what this country really needs is a long-term economic plan that will help the middle- and underclasses, but not just a one-time handout. Stan said "Well, fine, if you don't want your money, then you can give it to me, I have bills to pay." I thought his response rather odd because, yeah, duh, we both have bills to pay, but it's not a long term solution and I thought it was very shortsighted on his part and just plain odd to be so "Thank you, Uncle George!"

We'll have to wait for Stan's response to this one as his computer is in the shop (loooong story) so that hypothetical $800 would be welcome...but still, a very shortsighted solution nonetheless.

*Yes, Keith Olbermann may have used that term a few nights ago, but I was thinking it weeks before he said it!

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Crap You Find Online

They actually SELL Mugwort? People are allergic to this stuff...it's a common allergan that shows up on those allergy tests that they poke your arm for!

Who'd they get to harvest this crap anyway? Some cackling DisneyWitch with no known allergies that laughs at people who sneeze when they get next to her sneezebag of spells, no doubt.

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Weird DREAM with my Parents' House

I was out riding my bike in Fort Collins (not inconceivable if we go there this spring). I was coming back to my parents' house and they had all this junk in their front yard, old yard equipment, and a coffin-sized hole dug right near the sidewalk. It looked like no one was home and they just left this clutter there, which is very unlike them. I walk in the front door and realize they actually are home, but the first floor is rearranged. It transmogrified into a split level, where the kitchen and dining room are a half a level up. It was hard to explain, but things were switched around and there was a balcony looking down to the living room below. My parents are sitting at a table, and it looks like they're playing Scrabble. My friend Barb is there with them, and she has a totally bored out of her mind look on her face, and she was reading a magazine. She was wearing earplugs that are in the shape of 1970s cartoon daisy flowers. I ask her, "you must be losing," thinking that because of her inattentiveness to the ongoing game. "No, actually she's winning," someone said, so I figured my parents are too easy for opponents. It was almost as if she was babysitting them in my absence, and since I returned I could take over her spot. I started looking around this remodel, and discovered two bedroom, each pretty dark with two small windows (because it would be in the attic and my parents have no attic windows). I told them I love these rooms, but I have never seen them before, and why didn't they open the house up like that when I was living there?

If only that house was interesting...it has the most boring floorplan in the world.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Separated at Birth

Is it just me, or does Bizarre Foods Guy Andrew Zimmern bear an odd resemblance to our current Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle?

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Boat Dreams

I don't have nautical dreams very much, mainly because I have few opportunities to go on water. In fact, this was the first dream I can ever recall being on a boat. The different times spent on a water vessel can probably be counted on one hand: 1) in 1975 when my parents and I went to Yellowstone and we took a tour boat on Lake Yellowstone; 2) in 1976 when we went to the Wisconsin Dells and we rode on a "Duck" (Wisconsin Dells back then was nothing like the monstrosity theme park it is now); 3) In 1987 when Stan and I went to Seattle and took a Ferry up to one of the islands; 4) 2002 When we went to New England and took a Ferry to Block Island; and 5) 1990-present summers when we take the Merrimac Ferry across Lake Wisconsin. Oh, and I forgot...I guess this makes a polydactyl hand. One late summer in the mid-90s Stan and I took this strange Pontoon ride with a bunch of old people (we didn't know it was going to be so Geri...we just wanted to have fun) on a Sunday morning from Tenney Park down the Yahara across Lake Monona to Olbrich Park. We got off at Olbrich Park and walked home, got the other car and drove back to Tenney to pick up the car we drove there. At that time, we just couldn't bear heading back for more ride on the S.S. Minnow filled with Thurstons and Lovies but no Professors or Mary Annes and Gingers. Anyway, that's my very limited history on water. And here's my dream:

I was in a boat docked near land. It was like a home, and simultaneously as I had this dream, I also had a side dream that my mom and dad had a fight. I was trying to call my mom...it was like she had more independence than she does IRL and had gone off...driven off somewhere (IRL my mom doesn't drive). I was trying to call her...I was worried. I looked out the window of this boat and it was right in front of a 20-30 foot tall ship that was also docked. I could see the captain's window, and there was a woman who was sitting in the captain's chair, but she wasn't a captain, just a guest on board chatting. For some reason I felt safe being next to the ship, like the ship was protecting my boat. But later in the dream I looked out of the window and the ship was gone, and I was alone, maybe 800 feet from the pier. "The Sea was Angry that Day, My Friends. The Weather Started Getting Rough, The Tiny Ship was Tossed." I was getting scared because I did not know how to get back to shore, and I was afraid the boat would capsize and I couldn't swim.

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

David Lynch's Can of Worms



The thing is, watching a movie in a cold, uncomfortable, smelly theatre with noisy jackasses kicking the back of your seat and a basketball team in front of you while you have to pee badly but you can't pause the movie isn't any fun either.

But I get what Lynch is passionately saying.

The thing is, where does one draw the line? I think only the dimmest witted among us would completely disagree with Lynch and say that watching a movie on an iPhone is the best way to do it. But what about watching a movie in a home theatre with surround sound (not that I've ever experienced anything like this), is this better or worse than a theatre with much larger screen? Is it better because you don't have tards in the audience, just your close friends who are civilized with washed bodies and quiet chewing habits? Or worse because it's not purist, i.e., a bona fide theatre? What about watching it at home on a good-size flatscreen tv? A small flatscreen tv (like mine?)? An old fashioned CRT display tv like my parents'? A small tv like the one I used to have that is smaller than my desktop computer monitor? What about watching it on a laptop? See the shades of grey? At what point does one say, "your movie viewing experience is not legitimate." For the record, I watched both seasons of Twin Peaks and reruns of it recorded off of the television on video tape for several years on a 13 inch CRT tv, and no one could've loved that show more! I've since upgraded my tv sizes twice, not for status but for failing eyesight reasons. For some of us, the best we have is when a movie comes to DVD...or Sundance or IFC...or even, for some people like my parents who don't have cable, to Network... on our small tv set at home. Can someone say that we didn't experience it correctly because it wasn't under optimal theatrical conditions with surround sound and a large screen during its first run? See, to me, that's just plain snobby, like the rich college kid with the tricked out stereo in the dorm room making fun of your pitiful portable picnic player, claiming you're not a real music fan otherwise you'd have a better stereo. Who's to say you can't love the music just as much, even if you can't afford a better system? By that justification, am I not as much a human as people with money living in new houses with insulated walls and home security systems with the best health care, latest gadgets and holidays in the sun? Is a child growing up in poverty in Africa not as much as a human as me? Of course that child is just as human as me and I'm just as human as a rich person--only the most hardcore economic-Darwinism racists would question that (and I don't think *they're* human so they don't count, but that's a whole other can-o-worms). But see the slippery slope we can get into when claiming one's "experience" is superior? Obviously, if you have an iphone, you're not viewing a movie on it because that's all you can afford. But you see how it could lead down that path, if for example, you're viewing a movie on a small tv, which is all you have?

As a visual artist I am completely frustrated with trying to translate my mediums cross different platforms. Works I create onscreen never fully translate with the glow and depth onto a printed surface. Likewise, my paintings which involve so much texture and metallics and iridescence cannot be experienced in a JPEG file or a flat printed reproduction. Some platforms are best used for one medium and completely inappropriate for another. Invert the movie-on-an-iPhone scenario and imagine having to go to a theatre to make a phone call...completely inappropriate (not that some boors don't do this already, but they're the kind that enjoy watching movies on their iPhones too, probably).

All I'm saying is that although I cheered when I watched the Lynch clip, it also brings up a whole host of issues, and the inevitable slippery slope of snobbery and classism.

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Speaking of LOST...

I heard something on the radio today that LOST will only have 8 episodes this season instead of the 16 that were planned for each of its final 3 years. The 8th ep will be a big ole' cliffhanger. By my calculations, that means that the final 2 seasons will need to have 4 episodes more (20 episodes per) to make up for the missing 8.

4, 8, 16...it's all numbers, right?

Anyway, that is a big old bummer, not that I don't support people striking for what should be rightly theirs, however. But I'm wondering how they will do the 4th season DVD with only 8 episodes? Hardly makes putting out a boxed set worth it. It'll be more like Season 3.5.

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Weird Dream with Locke

It was like I was in a place that was a cross between LOST, some rural hillsides that could have been *anywhere* hilly/mountainous in a temperate zone (Colorado? Wisconsin? Who knows), in an old downtown/industrial neighborhood in a somewhat small town....sort of like downtown Baraboo. I can't remember too many specifics, but I remember standing around in old buildings where some LOST castaway-types who looked more like extras from some '80s office-girl movie were trying to move a large wall, but having lots of problems. One of them was very tall with dark hair and glasses and wearing fishnet nylons with little socks...very 80s, very misplaced on the set of LOST, however. But I also remember seeing Hurley and possibly other actual LOST types. And I specifically remember John Locke. I was sitting next to him in a vehicle and we were traveling up a hill. He was talking to me like he knew me, like he was a co-worker (I always wanted to work for a box company...). It was not tropical in the slightest. We drove through some strange, large garage with chains. We were plotting something, but I don't know what. I wish I could remember this better.

Mostly, I wish Desmond and Sawyer were there.

Locke?!?

You know, that character is supposed to be around my/Stan's/Barrack Obama's age. No way!

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Friday, January 04, 2008

OK, was it just Stan and me or what?

As I alluded to in my previous post, Stan and I stayed up (staying up is 'til 10:30 pm since Stan has to get up to go to work at 4:45 am) to watch the Iowa Caucus coverage on MSNBC.

What is up with Chuck Norris's head? I mean the thing was HUGE! Absolutely GIGANTIC! It was like this jumbo-sized carved wooden puppet with unnaturally glaring white teeth, looming behind and completely dwarfing/detracting from Huckabee. As we were watching this, we were both in stitches. It was like we were college students on pot, laughing at the tv news. Except we were completely sober. It was such a bizarre sight.

I could tell Keith Olbermann wanted to comment about it last night, but smirked and bit his lip. Let's see if he says something on his show tonight.

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DREAM: Mitt Romney's Irish-American Family Vacation

It's 5 am, I'm half asleep, my nails are long and in the way of my keyboard, but I have to write this silly dream down before I forget it.

First, some background. Stayed up to watch the Iowa caucus speeches on MSNBC...Edwards, Clinton, Obama, Huckabee (along with Chuck Norris's enormous head), not Romney, however, noooo...that comes later. But speaking of Romney, it's my opinion, and maybe mine alone, that he reminds me a little physically of Jack Shephard's father, Christian Shephard, you know, alcoholic father and the corpse in the coffin on doomed flight 815? And you've heard PETA-enraging tales of Romney's Griswoldesque American Family Vacation with the dog in the box on the top of the car? Yes, all these things must have played into the formulation of:

WEIRDEST. DREAM. EVER.

So I'm like in...Ireland or something. WTF. I'm at the country home of some family whose mother has died. She had some young children. She lived next door to her parents who are both still living. Her mother, the kid's grandmother, comes out to talk to people who are with me. We go into the house. The dead mother is displayed in the parlor. They are having a green funeral, probably to be buried in the green hills of Ireland? WroNG! No, this corpse is coming with us, back to Madison, in a van being driven by Mitt Romney! As we're leaving, Mitt or somoene asks, "Doesn't this women have parents who live next door?" but I guess I was the only one who saw them. I didn't say anything, because I figure there's a reason her parents didn't want to be seen by the others.

This whole thing was surreal, like I was halfway participating in the dream, but also halfway watching it on tv. It especially got tv-esque when someone was worrying about the dead woman's toes curling up as she hardens, so someone whips out some booties and demonstrates how to pull a string in the booties which causes the toes to straighten and not curl. Beauty secrets for the dead. WTF.

Anyway, we're driving along highways (probably hwy 151 traveling eastward) in Wisconsin going towards Madison. I think Stan is in the van too, along with me, some orphaned Irish kids, and a corpse wrapped in plastic. We're also hauling a boat behind us. There is no backseat in the van, similar to the way ours is frequently when we've had large paintings to haul. I'm finding it hard not to sit on the corpse due to lack of space and the way Mitt is driving, which is rather erratic. I'm also rather puzzled what we're going to do with the corpse once we get to Madison...it's not like we can have a green funeral in Madison (which is the problem I have with this whole green funeral movement anyway...you really need to land (read: money) to do them, and what about the multitudes of urban poor, or just plain urban without a plot of green to their name unless they have ancestral land in the country (read: family money)...it's just another politically correct trendy fad that is extremely impractical for those who are disenfranchised. Yet I digress. So I ask Mitt The Driver, "we can't bury the body normally in the ground, can we?" To which he responds that we will have to sneakily bury it vertically down a hole. Flashing back to my corpse in an underground gas tank dream from a few weeks ago. I'm bobbing around in the back of the van trying to avoid sitting on the shifting corpse, and Mitt says to watch out for the cop. There was a policeman behind us, so we all try to act like nothng was abnormal.

We're getting close to home, we're on Johnson St. and First St. where Johnson continues to the right and veers off on the left merging onto...Aberg? (I've lived here over 18 years and I'm still confused by the streets). At this fork in the road, Mitt is not paying attention, he's babbling to the passengers in the van and drives up onto the strip of median. Then the van stops. We get out. I wonder why he doesn't just drive back onto the road, but Stan tells me that the power steering must have gone out, which was why he steered into the median and couldn't steer out of it. I wonder how we'll get out of this one...what will we do with the corpse? How can we hide the corpse from the towing company? Should I walk home and get a blanket to cover it? We walk over to a nearby business which is also a car repair place (which doesn't exist in that area IRL), where Mitt is inside talking to people. Stan's hair is very long and very blond. He makes a weird gesture at a young mechanic who seemed like he was making a weird gesture at me. And then I woke up. I assume Stan and I walked home at this point, leaving the problem to Mitt Romney. After all, it was his idea. Heh.

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