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12:20:2002 Entry: "Ann : Fathers who never grew up"
Fathers who never grew up
Why are fathers such self-righteous, self-centered, paranoid freaks? No, I'm not talking about my own in this instance, but it sure seems to be such a universal trait as far as all the fathers I've known. This last case just takes the cake. All I can say is WHAT A G*D*M* A*S*O*E.
As bad as his relationship with his adopted father was, at least Stan didn't have to grow up with the genetic one.
I'm sick of sicko people. I'm sick of them taking everything you say as a personal attack on them while they feel they have license to insult you no end. I could write a large essay on this nutcase, but I think I just need a good cry for now.
If it weren't for the fact that I've encountered this type of whacko before, so many times before, it would be more shocking than anything. Now it's more like delayed stress syndrome or whatever that is.
That's a right fathers/parents take; they can say whatever they want to you, no matter how old you are, and they won't accept that you talk the same way to them, but you seldom will anyway.
I think that old guy would rather be pleased he had a son like Stan and that this son actually wanted contact with him. If being a jerk is his contribution to the relationship Stan should just cut him out, cause he really don't need that kind of shit, if he think about it.
Posted by Nico @ 05:10:2002:03:23 PM CST
Although Stan hasn't read today's letter as he's still at work, I think I take it more seriously than he does. He's more apt to laugh it off and say "what a loon." His half-sister from his biomom's side of the family sides with you, Nico. I wish I could...but I'm more apt to want to salvage a relationship. Maybe I'm nuts. Maybe I'm too damn sensitive. I mean, I should be thankful, Stan has two good moms, one bio, one adopted. I have a good mom, and although my dad and I have our rows when we visit eachother, at least he's not a crackpot who writes me passive-aggressive letters and when we get on the subject of religion, he'll know to be quiet when I tell him I no longer wish to discuss it. Not so with Stan's dad.
Now my face is ruined...and we were going to go out tonight. I guess it's drive-through or take-out.
Posted by Ann @ 05:10:2002:03:35 PM CST
Must have been some shitty letter..
I don't think it's possible to get a good father/son relationship out of such a problematic one. I used to try that for years, mostly because other familymembers wanted it to be different. It's almost impossible to make an old dog stop barking, he probably won't change, maybe for a short while, but he'll just fall into the same old pattern again - I think, from my experiences.
Posted by Nico @ 05:11:2002:10:58 AM CST
The thing is, Stan's only known his biodad for less than a year. There's no old baggage...just new issues. It's just that his dad is completely demented, a legend in his own mind (he's going to publish a scientific discovery that will change the world, so he says), and a complete religious zealot, not to mention holds some very strange beliefs about a certain persecuting political party that gained notoriety in WWII. And to think Stan thought his dad's side was Jewish before he uncovered the truth. Oh, the irony.
Posted by Ann @ 05:11:2002:11:05 AM CST
Sheesh... people have issues, what can I say? Hope Stan's okay. Hope you are, too, Ann.
Posted by gOdOfMiScHiEf @ 05:11:2002:11:05 AM CST
I guess I am...considering.
Posted by Ann @ 05:12:2002:10:01 AM CST
Here I am!
OK, Ann, I hope you are alright - but please don't let this a$$clown do this to you. Some Dads are JUST DICKS. It's sad, but true.
Some people just plain suck a$$.
I am so sorry you have to deal with a dickhead dad too.
As you well know, I've had my fill of them myself. GRRRRR.
I hope you're OK by now - running a bit behind in the journal world...
Posted by Kimberly @ 05:14:2002:12:09 PM CST
Yeah I'm ok, Stan called him on Friday. It went well (for him). But no birthday card today. What can I say...
I'm thinking he's thinking..."I'll show him...I'll show him he's not my son...I won't acknowledge his birthday. So there...no one questions my opinions and my beliefs and gets away with it! He's no son of mine!"
Oh, who knows what he's thinking...probably E=mcjesus christ
Posted by Ann @ 05:14:2002:02:07 PM CST