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12:20:2002 Entry: "Ann : Religion, etc."

Religion, etc.

Last night we went out for sushi for Stan's birthday (which is today, actually) and on the way back from the Japanese restaurant, we stopped at a camera/film store.

I wanted to pick up a Pentax cleaning cloth as my eye glasses are Pentax lenses (supposed to reduce scratching, which as catlike as I am, I am prone to). A young man behind the counter looked at us as we were walking in. I said "hi" and he looked like he wanted to help as the other employee was busy on the phone. I had no idea where they sold them, so I tried to explain what I was looking for, perhaps not using the photographically-correct terminology. After he figured out what I needed, he walked over to a stand, pulled off the product, walked back to the counter, rang up my seven-dollar purchase, all without a sound. After we left, I told Stan, "that was weird." I didn't know if it was just me, or if it really *was* weird...so I felt out Stan's reaction. "Oh, the camera guy? He was such a priss! Probably annoyed that you didn't make a large purchase of expensive camera equipment." Hmmm...This guy obviously had no clue that back in 2000 I bought nearly a grand worth of a digital camera and related accessories from them. Geez. So the woman seems a little dazed (maybe it was the Blue Light Yokohama mixed drink...heh) and she can't fully explain that she needs a Pentax cleaning cloth, instead says she needs a towel for cleaning glasses. And so she so rudely disturbs your very important task of counterboy and makes a measly seven dollar purchase. That really deserves giving the customer the silent treatment.

Last Friday Stan called his dad and spoke to him in person on the phone. Funny how people calm down when they speak to you in person, like being behind the veil of the written word gives them the license to be passive aggressive and insultory. I guess they were able to speak to eachother civilly, and Stan was able to explain his position on his ideology of religion and matters like that. I'm still not surprised, yet a little pissed, however, to see no birthday card from him in the mailbox today. Maybe he really doesn't think Stan is his son, as the letter stated. Oh, he knows he's his biological son all right. But because of their disparate beliefs, he doesn't think he's his "son." Well, duh, Stan's adopted dad and he had disparate beliefs too. For that matter, I'm definitely not my dad's daughter (other than our fondness of gardening and dislike of Wal-Mart [which I'm proud of my parents for trying to stop the infiltration of in their own town])--we really don't have that much in common. I mean Stan's biodad's own daughters don't have that much in common with him. As bad as my relationship with my dad was (especially when I was an adolescent) I'm sure glad I didn't have someone raise me like Stan's biodad. I feel sorry for Stan's half-sisters.

I had a talk with my mom on Mother's Day. I put forth my own conspiracy theory that altar boys were institutionalized in Catholicism for the pleasure of clergy, that child molestation has always taken place, it's just that now we're more open with discussing these matters which is why it is coming to light now. She and I had a good laugh over that--I am glad I can speak to her this way now and that she can laugh instead of being offended. I'm glad she's finally rebelled against this religion that she thought she needed a long time ago. Too bad she didn't see the light 40 years ago, before she inflicted it as a puppet of my dad's, on me. Too bad for me, anyway. I told her how I, on the other hand, ALWAYS hated it, and even as young as six years old wishing I could kill my guardian angel (I tried, I really did). I told her how torturous and painful it was for me when living in Colorado having to go to Sunday School when I was 10 or 11, which was really Saturday School, which was even worse. Realizing she would do it differently now, she excused her actions or former complicity with my dad by saying "Oh well, it builds character." Huh-uh. It doesn't build character. It builds bad character. Moving around the country as a kid and having to deal with social isolation, losing relationships and having to forge new ones...that builds character. Taking vacations and going on planes and trains and automobiles and the slips and spills of childhood, the annoyance of fickle friends and sitting next to the smelliest boy in 4th grade builds character. Getting in trouble for drawing nasty pictures builds character. Realizing you made friends with a juvenile delinquent skank and having to deal with her psychotic wrath builds character. Having to go to Sunday Saturday school on a beautiful afternoon in May when your friends in your neighborhood are out playing, and you're forced into an uncomfortable stuffy room with people you don't know, that doesn't build character. That makes one angry, pissed, resentful, and rebellious. Things like that make one decide they want to move far, far away. But I do thank her for making up the excuse that I had an orthodontist's appointment on the afternoon before I got confirmed. I'm glad I got out of that hellish experience, even though I did have to go through confirmation itself. My mom said I had the biggest smile on my face as I walked down the aisle...I was so glad to be through with that nonsense...never again! My dad was probably thinking I was glad to be a confirmed Catholic now...Ha! Little did he know. The thing is, you do these things for your parents, not for yourself. You can't really get out of them when you're that young for fear of your life. You can't get out of it until you're clear of them. And unless they rebel and reject it themselves, they still think you're part if it too (like my dad is totally confused by me because I'm not living like a paranoid superstitious submissive freakgood Catholic, yet what he doesn't realize is that I'm not Catholic! Your religion is not what you're born into, or what your parents try to make you, but what you believe when you're an adult capable of making your own decisions. It's not like ethnic heritage that you can not get rid of. If you have Polish ancestors, you are part Polish, no two ways about it. Some people think it's inseparable. But it's not. Religion is not an ethnic heritage. It is just religion. And you don't have to follow your parent's tradition or any tradition, for that matter. That's what I do...I don't practice a darn thing. I just do what I think is right. Don't steal stuff. Don't hurt people on purpose. Don't be a jerk or self-absorbed. Leave some things and people alone. Be kind and generous to non-humans. Love your friends. Don't litter. Vote when you know the issues. Try and know the issues. Stop and smell the roses. Not exactly the Ten Commandments, huh?

12 Comments

Glad to read Stan's dad at least is possible to communicate with on the phone. Religion seem to be a source to all kinds of disagreements. I don't think that's the intention with religion. I used to do all the traditional religious stuff too because of parents/grandparents expectations. I left church a few days after I was 18.
And speaking of ethnic heritage, it seems like a lot of people believe to be a jew is something ethnic and not religious. It's very strange that people today think that, cause the idea about jews as a race was something the nazis came up with, it's just strange that people are still confused about it.

Posted by Nico @ 05:14:2002:04:20 PM CST

Ok, so I always wondered why I came out as being "Stan" in the personality test. Now I know why!! My birthday was last week!! Stan and I are Taurus'!! Hmmm, what would that plural be? Tauri?

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAN!!!!! :o)

Posted by Maria @ 05:14:2002:06:00 PM CST

Um, the Nazis didn't come up with the idea of Jews being a race. That idea dates at least as far back as the Middle Ages. The Nazis weren't even the first people to persecute the descendents of converts from Judaism generations after the fact.

Okay, that was a comment on a comment rather than a post, but I agree with you, that "religion" is not necessary to be a good person, and that it really doesn't make up who you are (just how you see the world).

Posted by Amber @ 05:14:2002:06:25 PM CST

well...the only good thing i can say for catholisism is incense.

"..ina-godada-veda baby.."

:)

Posted by Lori @ 05:14:2002:06:27 PM CST

Thanks for that info, Amber. You know a page or any litterature where one can read more about that?

Posted by Nico @ 05:15:2002:05:56 AM CST

Intresting theological concepts, Nico and Amber. I don't know anything about it as in my distancing myself from my parent's religion, I also distanced myself from aspiring to learn anything about other religions from a sociological standpoint. I'm just beginning now to find it interesting.

Thanks for the b-day wishes for Stan, Maria! That is fascinating that you are both Tauruses (Taurii?) and that you test out as him too! Something must be said for Astrology! (and my test!)

Lori, I love incense but sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it if a particular scent smells too much like the kind in church. Bad memories.

Posted by Ann @ 05:15:2002:09:22 AM CST

I had to go through the same shit, with confirmation and all that. But the funny thing is, my parents arenīt religious themselves and my mom, who raised me is a protestant. So why the hell did I have to go to a catholic church and listen to all this nonsense all the time? Iīm glad religion isnīt such a big thing over here anymore. My best friendīs grandparents are still very religious though. Some of the kids in that family arenīt allowed to read Harry Potter for example because heīs a wizard. WTF?! Thatīs so middle- ages- ish! ;0)=

Happy belated b- day Stan!

Posted by Mistress Angelique @ 05:15:2002:02:10 PM CST

I'm crazy about religions myself, I think I'm (over)qualified to be catholic, mormon, Jehova's witness... ;o] I kind of like to be in churches too, but only when nothing christian is going on there ;o]
And happy birthday to Stan =o) Is it the 41th?

Posted by Nico @ 05:15:2002:02:10 PM CST

That is odd that you had to do that, Mistress A...at least I had an excuse! Oh, the religious thing is big in America. It's weird...The US is religious and amoral. Ironic.

Nico, you're like Stan. He's studied all of them. I guess it doesn't bother him like it does me. Old gothic-style churches are neat, and I do like them from a standpoint of an artist. I have a hard time going into them for anything other than just a visit as a lover of architecture, however.

Thanks for the b-day wishes for Stan! Yes...the dreaded 4-1. Me next. Ugh.

Posted by Ann @ 05:15:2002:03:07 PM CST

Happy belated birthday to Stan.
I love church incense's smell... I served as an altar-girl for six years and I've always been bugged they didn't let me handle the dangly incense-thingy. I played with candles though.
The Italian, catholic altar-girl who swears in six languages now...

Posted by Frost @ 05:15:2002:05:41 PM CST

Thanks Frost!

Gotta admit...those dangly incense things were cool...

Posted by Ann @ 05:16:2002:07:46 AM CST

"I kind of like to be in churches too, but only when nothing christian is going on there ;o]"

LMAO! Same with me! I love to visit churches but I try to be alone there. Theyīre just beautiful buildings!

Posted by Mistress Angelique @ 05:16:2002:12:57 PM CST

By Ann @ 20:23 PM CST:12:20:02 ..::Link::..