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12:20:2002 Entry: "Ann : Christmas Day, December 26, 2002"

Christmas Day, December 26, 2002

One of the best things I've heard anybody say lately was when Tim was talking about Xmas and Stan asks him, 'So, does Christmas come on the 26th this year?' It wasn't sarcasm...it was an authentic question. It so perfectly sums up our states of mind lately. Gravity all nonsense now. Practically speaking, you can look it like this: For fourty-one years, we(Stan and I)'ve been living in a world where Thanksgiving, which for all intents and purposes is very much like Christmas, is on a different day every year. For thirteen years we've been living 1000 miles from family (yeay!) so we don't do the family thing for Christmas (yeay!)...it's just Stan and me alone. We're not religious and we don't have kids, so we don't have to put on a show. And for the past six years or so, Stan has been working at a job where he usually does not get Christmas off. Who cares about keeping track of when Christmas is? Not only that, the last half of this year has been intense. We feel like we've been pushed down a tube, a black hole vortex, and come out the other end in some other universe. I can't speak for Stan, but my mind definitely is not here thinking about the holidays. It used to depress me. It used to make me angry. But now, I think I have successfully removed myself from it to the point that it doesn't even affect me at all. And it's a good place to be. That's not to say I'm detached or dispassionate. On the contrary, I'm feeling very alive and very passionate, moreso than ever. But it's not about the things that contemporary popular sentimental society says I need to pay attention to. To that end, I am invisible to it, and it to me. I'm like in my dream where I was walking around and I was dead and people kept bumping into me because they didn't see me. Except, unlike in the dream, I already know I'm 'dead.'

3 Comments

The christmas food is good. I think christmastrees are rather beautiful to look at. And about the christmas spirit, I think it's the kind of spirit one should have all year around, not something one clean the dust off every december and put away january 1.

Christmas is a great holiday for the children though :o)

Posted by Nico @ 12:23:2002:06:47 PM CST

christmas food is good

Damn my mom for sending me those brandy balls! There goes the diet!

christmastrees are rather beautiful to look at

I've got my paintings. They glisten more than a christmas tree. Last a lot longer too.

s the kind of spirit one should have all year around, not something one clean the dust off every december and put away january 1

You are so right about that. That's why I hate holidays because it's a "special day" to celebrate something that should always be in people's minds. Ever notice how totally unchristmassy people are on the day after when they're standing in line to exchange gifts? Grinch city.

Christmas is a great holiday for the children though

Well, that is if your parents can afford it and if they have fun participating in it with you. Christmas was a horrible time for me as a kid. That's all I'll say.

Posted by Ann @ 12:23:2002:07:10 PM CST

Iīm still not over it. I still hate christmas with a passion. I canīt help it! *shrug*

Posted by Nina @ 12:28:2002:02:34 PM CST

By Ann @ 20:26 PM CST:12:20:02 ..::Link::..