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12:20:2003 Entry: "Stan : Roast Beef University"

Roast Beef University

My dream began with large chunks of cooked roast beef. I was helping someone get these pieces of dead cow out of buckets to thaw them. The beef still needed to be sliced and I had no interest in eating any of it.

Then I went to this gym locker room in a basement that wasn't being used for athletics. There was a large common area used for college artist studio spaces. While I was in the common area I noticed wet pillows on the floor in the women's locker room area and went to get a closer look.

Then I heard someone using the restroom in the mens locker room through the wall and thought to myself that I didn't want anyone to see me in the women's area. I returned to the commons area and some guy names Keto (kay-toe) said behind my back "I don't like that guy."

I decided to leave but Keto followed me to explain why he didn't like me. He said I wasn't a dedicated enough student because I didn't spend enough time in my studio like he did. He made it a point to tell me that I should be spending 5 to 6 hours a day in the studio like he does. This is why he didn't like me.

Thoughts went through my mind about things I wanted to tell him but didn't. I didn't tell him 'well if your teachers thought you were some kind of Nazi I bet you would want to stay away from the studio too.' I wanted to tell him that I had a job and apparently he didn't need one so thus he has more time to hang out that me, but didn't.

Instead I told him that I was taking lots of non-art classes and so I had a lot of homework to do. He didn't seem to relate to this at all and insisted that I needed to spend more time in the art studio.

On some level what he was saying struck a fantasy - I would imagine how pleasant life could be to spend the day hanging out in a studio and farting around at a leisurely pace with making art. Sure it sounds like a pleasant life, but it's not really me. Not only did I not have the financial resources when I was in college to live that way, but I didn't and don't have the mind for it either.

I see Keto grazing like a cow in a meadow, without a worry in the world, while he passes the day with meaningless grasses of his little art projects. I feel very fortunate that I didn't turn out like him, and very happy with the life that I do have.

So Keto whether you are from my dreams, from real life, or both it makes me very happy to know that you don't like me.

By Stan @ 20:28 AM CST:12:20:03 ..::Link::..