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12:20:2003 Entry: "Ann : Findings"

Findings

Tuesday night I talked to Bill some regarding Hieronymus. He still hasn't gotten a cat to replace Pan yet; he says he's waiting for one to find him. I remember one time when Stan and I were visiting Fort Fun, we were in Nature's Own with Bill and a salesclerk starts talking to us about a kitten that she's trying to give away. He could've had a kitten then, but at that time Pan was an old Curmudgeon Cat and wouldn't have appreciated the newcomer. I guess Bill does have good karma about having cats find him...one time he was travelling and a wild kitten jumped on his lap when he opened the car door. For us, I think it's a different matter. I have to actively find them, but for some reason it's always the right fit. Maybe from the animal's viewpoint, they have to have the right person find them. I think I'm the way with music the way Bill is with cats; I have to have the music find me. If someone tries to get me into something, it won't work. It has to be around at the right time when I'm ready to accept it in my life, essentially, it finds me. Since Bill is a musician, I wonder if it works differently for him. I wonder if it is more of an intellectual thing for him, working on the advisement of other musically-knowledgable people, seeking out new bands and musicians rather than a more intuitive, passionate thing like it is for me, a non-musician. Not that I'm not passionate about my animals that I find. Oh what the hell am I trying to say, anyway?

Certain things you have to find for yourself, other things have to find you, and they vary by person. I think Stan and I sort of found eachother, but Bill, for example, found me. I have the worst luck finding jobs or work; I have to wait for it to find me. If I actively seek it out, I become a nervous wreck. A low-paid nervous wreck. I'm glad Stan understands that about my karma.

By Ann @ 20:29 AM CST:12:20:03 ..::Link::..