12:20:2003 Entry: "Stan : The Usefulness of Paranoia"
The Usefulness of Paranoia
Two times a week, when I drive to work for the early shift, I'm driving through the middle of Madison before 5:00a.m.. I usually see several police cars on my way and sometimes they even follow me for half a mile or so. Their doing their jobs, and this is good because I always see at least one driver on the road that I would pull over, if I were a police officer, to see if they're drunk. This morning I noticed that my passenger door wasn't shut tight and pulled over to close it. After I stopped two police cars go by, and it made me feel weird all morning. I kept thinking to myself that they were going to pull me over, but I had no reason to think in such a paranoid way about this morning's trip. I was wondering to myself why I felt so paranoid when I had no reason for such thinking. I thought, if they were to pull me over what would be their purpose? Most likely a bad tail light? I thought to myself, 'fine - if I'm going to be paranoid - then just go outside and check all of the car lights.' I believed that I would see that all of my lights were working and then I could just tell myself to stop being so paranoid.
It is such a wast of time to spend the morning thinking paranoid thoughts for no good reason. I checked my lights, and to my surprise one of my rear blinkers wasn't working. I fixed the blinker light - of course.
Much to my own amazement my paranoid thinking was "ahead of the curve" - as the saying goes.