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03:06:2006 Entry: "Stan : 'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (Introduction, section a: Sacred Gift)"

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (Introduction, section a: Sacred Gift)

In the patterns on the palm of my right hand my life line is broken into 2 parts and then there is a 3rd complex of lines weaving the 2 life line sections together. Presumably, the first line would be an image of the beginning of my life with the second line marking a second and later part of my life. Perhaps the 3rd set of lines on my hand represents a 3rd life or 3rd path of life, which acts as a bridge between the 2 life lines bringing all things together as a complete pattern. This bridge between 2 lives I think of as my 3rd life and perhaps its best called 'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew'.

Actually, it is very wrong for me to say that I am or even ever was a Jew but, for 17 years of my life I had written proof that - at the very least - I had Jewish ancestors. What is written proof? Only an image composed of words and written on a document filed away in a safety deposit box for 23 years by my parents and then; as it is with every image, we all have to live with the consequences of our own beliefs.

This 3rd life only has its existence and being as images made of words, and now by writing about these things I'm moving into accepting the paradox of recasting these images back into words. This is an introduction to my auto-blog-biography of my 3rd life, and I will proceed to write small parts at a time as blog entries for as long as it takes to cover a fair autobiographical account. I believe that our lives as creatures inhabiting this beautiful earth are mainly a matter of illusion, but none the less - our time as creatures in this world are fragments we should regard as sacred gifts. No matter how or in what ways my 3rd life is or has been false; I keep it in my heart as a gift.

5 Comments

I feel that I have lived many lives. It seems that I have been many different people. I was a depressed lonely child; I was a good little christian girl; I was a 17 yr old forced to be an adult; I was a rebellious teenager exploring a childhood I never had; I was a not even real for a few years after that; I think I was never really real even when I was all those things before because those were all things that other people wanted me to be. This part of my life is my real life. I am who I want to be. Isn't it strange sometimes? Illusion can swallow us up and devour us if we let it. I am so glad I broke through my encompassing web of illusion, first spun by my parents, then my friends, and then by myself. I say I broke it; it is more like my husband spent five or six years tearing it apart. What a good guy.

Did you feel disallusioned when you found out you were not who you thought you were?

Posted by Dawn @ 02:27:2006:12:11 PM CST

I was very let down by learning the truth, and then I became mad at myself. I was surprised at my own arrogance for being so let down. Fortunately my friends and Ann found my surprise discovery and my dissmay at it very funny. Eventually I began to see the humor in this and I learned that I'm much more of an arrogant person than I had thought myself to be.

I was the good christian boy as a teenager too. I think you are right that we have many different lives within the one life we seem to live. It's almost as if life is a facited crystal stone more than a smooth river rock.

Maybe some people feel life is more like a smooth river rock, and others find life to be more like the edges and sides of a crystal.

Posted by Stan @ 02:27:2006:07:13 PM CST

"I was very let down by learning the truth, and then I became mad at myself."

Why on earth were you mad at yourself? It wasn't your fault that the birth certificate info was misleading.

The whole story about your background is very humorous with lots of irony. And the only thing arrogant about you is that you think you are so arrogant, which you're not!

I was never the good Christian girl. I hated hated hated all that stuff from day 1. When I was 6 I tried to kill my guardian angel 'cause I didn't want this thing hovering over me like they showed in pictures.

No one likes hovering. Heh. But killing your co-worker is not advisable.

Posted by Ann @ 02:27:2006:07:23 PM CST

Sorry, I wasn't clear enough. I became mad at myself because I realized that the only reason I had such a hard time coming to terms with the truth was because 'I'm an arrogant person'. This experence caused me to realize that I'm much more arrogant than I knew, so I was mad at myself for being so arrogant. I wasn't really mad at the misleading info.

Posted by Stan @ 02:27:2006:07:28 PM CST

"When I was 6 I tried to kill my guardian angel"

lmao! that is too funny!

if you are mad for thinking... whatever... it ends with "then you are not really arrogant."
I'm tired ;P

Posted by Dawn @ 02:27:2006:10:56 PM CST

By Stan @ 20:43 PM CST:03:06:06 ..::Link::..

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