ornamental

ILLNESS

Saturday, March 4, 2006

DREAM: A Man Who Looked Like Saddam, and Small, Odd Women

I was sitting at a table that was like in my parent's dining room. I think Stan, or at least a man who was a protective male figue in terms of myself, was there (it could've been my dad, but I don't think so), as well as a middle-eastern man who looked like Saddam Hussain. The man was a proprietor for some restaurant; I have no idea why he was there. For some stupid reason, I was not wearing a top. Not even a bra. Scary stuff, but what's even scarier is that Stan person left the room, leaving me alone with Saddam (it wasn't actually Saddam). He showed me a circular object that looked like a plate, but it was plastic and had a game in it, like one of those childhood games with the little balls that roll around and you have to put them in the holes. He showed it to me, like it was some great work of craftsmanship from someone in his country. I smiled and said it was very nice, even though I wasn't impressed. Then he told me, "I think your thing would like my thing." I can't remember if he used the word "thing" or if he used an Iraqi word that I didn't understand. I asked him what he said, and again he replied, "I think your thing would like my thing." I knew exactly what he said, but I pretended I didn't understand him. Then he got up from the table. He too was not wearing a shirt. He sat down on the table beside me and I noticed he was only wearing boxer shorts and had an er#ct*on. I got up from the table and said, "I think you should leave now." I awoke with a start.

Later, I had another dream that involved a very hyper skinny woman. I don't know what the situation was, but she was driving me nuts. I think there were other people around too. I was in a strange room like a bedroom/bathroom suite. I went out of the room with her, and then she went back in the room, locking the room to the suite while she used the bathroom, but not allowing me back inside the bedroom. I started shaking the doorhandle and yelled aloud in my sleep "Let me back inside!!!" (I think that's what I yelled, maybe Stan can remember).

Still another later dream I dreamt about this very small woman who was about two feet tall, and fairly proportional except her head was big. It was like she had fairy-like limbs. I kept staring at her because she was so unusual, as if she was not human. Then she gave me a dirty look because I was staring, and I felt rather bad.

Posted by Ann on 03/04/06@10:29 AM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

Friday, March 3, 2006

New Corpse

Finally, a winner! Lunatic Notepad Blueprints Dangling Nighmares

Posted by Ann on 03/03/06@09:25 AM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.

Thursday, March 2, 2006

New Corpse

Coitus Interruptus: Vague Disease Craggled As Firelizards Take 3.

Posted by Ann on 03/02/06@07:33 AM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 1 part 1: Childhood Game)

In every space other than the lock some people can feel, without sight or sound, the key turn along the jagged iron edges of memory.

When I was a child playing with other children there was a question we would ask one another as a sort of game we would play. "How far back can you remember?" It was always impressive when a child could say their earliest memory was about themselves as an infant being held in the arms of their mother.

When I was a child and up until I reached the age of 34 my earliest memory was when I was 3 years old. I can no longer say that my earliest memory was at 3 years old, because at the age of 34 I recovered early memory back as far as when I was inside of my mother. I can remember being inside of my mother before I was born, and I suppose it would be correct to call this a 'pre-birth memory'.

Posted by Stan on 03/01/06@07:04 PM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (Introduction, section c: Dedication)

This section is dedicated to Professor Penner, my Philosophy teacher. You might think that I am making this dedication to him because of some academic agreement with him, or some important idea I perhaps may have learned from him. However, my opinions on Plato's late works differ from his and it would be a mistake for anyone to think the views I express in this dedication are similar to his. I am making this dedication to Professor Penner as an expression of gratitude to him as a teacher with deep insight and understanding.

Near the fading end of my time in my 3rd life I was reading Plato every day as though I were a child who found their favorite author. Twilight is the most beautiful time of day, and in like manner is the most sublime part of any life time. A period of time when light seems to emanate from all things as though the mind is entering a visionary state and perhaps this mind frame must be, in some way, how every day prepares itself for its own death. I remember some of the things which I contemplated in the twilight time of my 3rd life, and I think of something Professor Penner once told me. He told me about a lost dialogue that Plato had written called "The Good" and I have wondered what this book might be like.

Proposition:

(a) If, there is a cure.
(b) If, there is a disease.
(c) Then, it is probable that such a cure could fix such a disease, and that would be good.

Therefore: The Good is probably a cure which fixes a disease.

Again:

(a) If, "The Good" is about: "Goodness" from the passage - "By education, then, I mean goodness in the form in which it is first acquired by a child" (Laws' book 2 653a-b).

& "a child's first infant consciousness is that of pleasure and pain" (Laws' book 2 653a-b)

& this is an epistemological state of being that "goodness" or "The Good" is to accomplish within us "... that the rightly educated prove what we mean by good." (Laws' book 1 644a )

(b) If, the "disease" is about: what exists in a person whom is uncontrollably seeking after "...pleasures and passions and lusting for its satisfaction -- a soul that cannot contain itself, and is in the grip of unending and insatiate disease" (Laws' book 4 714a).

& "dissonance between pleasure and pain and reasoned judgment" is what characterizes this "disease". (Laws' book 3 689a)

(c) Then, it is plausible that a cure such as to restore our epistemology to "a child's first infant consciousness is that of pleasure and pain" can fix a disease such as experiencing this "dissonance between pleasure and pain and reasoned judgment", and that could be something worthy of being called 'The Good'.

Therefore: "The Good" is a dialogue about an "education" that can return our epistemology to "a child's first infant consciousness of pleasure and pain" in order to fix an "insatiate disease" that is characterized by "dissonance between pleasure and pain and reasoned judgment".

This concludes the dedication.

There remains a multitude of questions concerning my theory and I am unwilling to continue along in the academic path of addressing these thoughts. In another way I will continue to approach these ideas of "The Good" as I tell the tale of my 3rd life.

Posted by Stan on 02/28/06@08:36 PM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

New Corpse

And it sucks: The Dancing Ether Step 6 Ooops Sacrifice on High I Won

Makes me look like the Fresh Prince*, although it is impossible for the first person to ever have a Fresh Prince.

*Fresh Prince is Corpser's lingo for a non-sequitor panel that completely disregards the 15 pixel slice of the panel above them that they are given to work with. Why the term Fresh Prince? It stems from this example.

Posted by Ann on 02/28/06@08:40 AM CST ..::Link::..4 Screamers.

Monday, February 27, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (Introduction, section b: The Dull)

To begin a story most writers try to start with something interesting for their readers. I imagine this is a way writers attempt to intrigue their readers and cause them to desire to know the whole of a story. Instead of starting with something really interesting which might cause my readers to want to read the whole story - I'll start with the most boring thing I can find from my 17 years, or 3rd life.

The best place for any story to begin is with something good, so even though I'm beginning with the most boring part I'll at least be starting with something good. I'll begin with what I think would be Plato's "The Good" and what I think this dialogue might say if it is ever found again.

Posted by Stan on 02/27/06@07:16 PM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (Introduction, section a: Sacred Gift)

In the patterns on the palm of my right hand my life line is broken into 2 parts and then there is a 3rd complex of lines weaving the 2 life line sections together. Presumably, the first line would be an image of the beginning of my life with the second line marking a second and later part of my life. Perhaps the 3rd set of lines on my hand represents a 3rd life or 3rd path of life, which acts as a bridge between the 2 life lines bringing all things together as a complete pattern. This bridge between 2 lives I think of as my 3rd life and perhaps its best called 'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew'.

Actually, it is very wrong for me to say that I am or even ever was a Jew but, for 17 years of my life I had written proof that - at the very least - I had Jewish ancestors. What is written proof? Only an image composed of words and written on a document filed away in a safety deposit box for 23 years by my parents and then; as it is with every image, we all have to live with the consequences of our own beliefs.

This 3rd life only has its existence and being as images made of words, and now by writing about these things I'm moving into accepting the paradox of recasting these images back into words. This is an introduction to my auto-blog-biography of my 3rd life, and I will proceed to write small parts at a time as blog entries for as long as it takes to cover a fair autobiographical account. I believe that our lives as creatures inhabiting this beautiful earth are mainly a matter of illusion, but none the less - our time as creatures in this world are fragments we should regard as sacred gifts. No matter how or in what ways my 3rd life is or has been false; I keep it in my heart as a gift.

Posted by Stan on 02/26/06@08:01 PM CST ..::Link::..5 Screamers.
By Ann @ 10:29 AM CST:03:04:06 ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

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