ornamental

ILLNESS

Saturday, March 25, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 2: Early Mental Meltdown part 3: Normalization)

I was placed back into a class with "regular" students about a week before summer vacation. The other students looked at me as if they had never seen me before and I was like a new student who just moved to town from some far away place.

We had to walk down the hallways in a single file line when we returned to class from the lunch room. While I was walking in line I began to wonder what it would be like to be blind and if I could stay in line with the other students only by the sound of foot steps. I closed my eyes and was able to remain in line until we were entering the class room door. At that point I was far enough out of the line that I smashed my head into the door jam. I wasn't hurt in any bad way, but my teacher wondered if there was something medically wrong with me. It took some time to convince my teacher that I was doing a blind experiment and that I wasn't hurt.

This incident caused most of the students to laugh except for a few females who felt sorry for me. Smashing my head into a door jam while pretending to be blind gained me instant acceptance with the rest of the students. It is strange how something stupid had gained me acceptance as a "regular" student.

The next year in 3rd grade I barely passed, and I understand that my parents had resigned themselves to the idea that I would be a poor student. Through school my sister, Marcia was pressed by my parents to achieve good grades, but I wasn't pressured and was allowed to coast along at a passing level. For some strange reason I became a good student in high school and was able to take lots of classes for college bound students. My childhood was one which causes my mother to say and she will still say it now if I ask her, "You were a child who was not living in this world."

Posted by Stan on 03/25/06@08:15 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

'My 17 Years as an Unauthorized Jew' (The Good, section 2: Early Mental Meltdown part 2: Cross Word Puzzle)

My teachers, my parents, and my 2nd grade principal were at a lose as to how to handle me, and they thought I might have some kind of learning or mental disability. It was decided that the best place for me was to be placed in the class for students with disabilities. (In that era students with disabilities were separated into their own class room.) I was actually content there, because I was clueless to the significance of my classroom change and the implications this had to my future.

Later that year we were given an assignment to make a crossword puzzle where one of the letters in 2 words would be used for both of the words. Apparently I misunderstood the assignment and our teachers' only intent for us to be able to identify the same letter in 2 words and arrange one across the other.

I returned to class with a crossword puzzle composed of about 10 words and one of them was a 4 syllable word. My teacher immediately said, "You did not do this, who did this for you?" I insisted that I made it myself and I assume it was the case that within a day my parents were called to a meeting with teachers over this puzzle. I still remember the horrible feeling I felt when my teacher refused to believe that the assignment was completed by me.

Posted by Stan on 03/22/06@09:22 PM CST ..::Link::..5 Screamers.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

New Corpse

Negative Bear Say Not Drew it Myself

Posted by Ann on 03/21/06@08:50 PM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.

MiniTrip Day 3

Spent the night on the shores of Lake Superior in Washburn, WI. Drove all the way across the UP on Highway 2, where there was much snow, and then down to Green Bay (we watched the snow disappear) and up to Sturgeon Bay, which is where we are now. I was afraid we would not be able to find lodging in Door County, at least not affordable lodging that took dogs, but I was wrong. I am relieved. I was afraid it would be like Bayfield, which is a quaint little Victorian Towne that has no places like Comfort Inn, which is fine, if you travel without animals and are B&B people, which we're not.

Posted by Ann on 03/21/06@07:24 PM CST ..::Link::..8 Screamers.

MiniTrip Day 2

Too tired to post this last night. Yesterday wasn't that great. Too cold and too much ice to look at falls much. Saw Amicon falls a little bit yesterday, but couldn't walk further than the first set of falls under the covered bridge. The weather is great for travelling...sunny, almost too sunny, no precip., but not good for taking walks. We decided to scratch the plans for anymore waterfalls and wait until a different time of year. Now we'll just make it a road trip only, travel down Highway 2 (sorry, no song comes to mind) through the UP and then down the Lake Michigan coast.

Posted by Ann on 03/21/06@07:50 AM CST ..::Link::..A Whisper Inside.

DREAM: Bad dream with 70s skank

I was with some other people, mostly men, I think. Stan was there too. We were told by some guy to run around on a certain street. I also remember an Asian import store with interesting Tibetan items. The guy who told us to run around was filming us, and after we were through running around, he showed us an edited film of the event. We figured he used actors to do what he told us to do, and then he pretended he was actually showing us ourselves. It was quite humiliating. He used a nerdy little actor to play Stan, like Stan as 12 years old. I thought that was being really unfair to portray us as we used to be and are not anymore. I don't remember seeing anyone portraying me, however. I was trying to watch it on a small tv screen that was up high. A tall, large woman was in my way and I was really mad because she was so rude blocking everyone's view that was behind her, so I tried to physically pull her down (rude of me...why didn't I just ask her?). Then she gets really mad at me and tries to physically fight me, but I am actually stronger than her and I block her arms whenever she tries to do anything. She is a NPW...looks like she got into too many bad relationships and bar fights...bad pockmarked complexion, awful make-up application that made her look like a 1970s skank. I woke up and I was crying. I'm just very thankful that I didn't scream anything out loud in my sleep as I was in a hotel last night.

Posted by Ann on 03/21/06@07:46 AM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

MiniTrip Day 1

Although we didn't do the Route 66 trip this year, we are taking a break for a few days this week to see some waterfalls up nort. We shortly drove down another highway with an equally famous song equivalent, Highway 61, at least for a short stretch from LaCrescent to Winona, Minnesota.

We crossed over to Wisconsin 35, on the other side of the Mississippi river. We come to the town of Pipin, birthplace of Laura Ingalls Wilder. They named the highway after her. Stan says, "So they decided to name this highway after a fictional character?" Stan thought Laura Ingalls Wilder was a fictitious person! I explained to him that she was in fact real. I had a 5th grade teacher (in Colorado) who read our class a lot of her books. I think I probably would've appreciated them even more had I not been a stranger in a strange land at the time myself. Stan and I took a short trip 7 miles off the highway to photograph her birthplace, a tiny little cabin.

lauraingallshouse (33k image)

Posted by Ann on 03/19/06@07:50 PM CST ..::Link::..6 Screamers.

DREAM: Travelling Apprehension?

The first thing I remember about this dream is that it starts out like the opening credits for a movie with a panorama of a sillhouetted city at night. A very LONG city. In fact, the city took up the entire picture plane, stretching horizontally as far as they eye could see. No city is that big. It was as if we were approaching the city slowly, perhaps by auto. As we get closer the image starts to come more into focus. Individual lights in the buildings can be seen, but what is strange is there appears to be a star in the sky that is superimposed over a buillding. It doesn't make sense. Supposedly this city is Nashville or someplace that I've never been (Nashville?!?! WTF?) Finally, Stan and I are at our destination, and we emerge from what logically should be a car, but instead we emerge from a building. It is still at night and as we walk out of the building, I realize I do not have shoes on. We go back inside and I put my shoes on. Then we go into another building. Despite that it looks like the middle of the night, the other building has a store inside that Stan needs to go to. It looks like an art supply store run for a university, with a lot of technical supplies like protractors and science nerd supplies. That's what Stan is looking for. I start to think, hmmm...maybe I should start to use stuff like that with my own art. Later in the same dream I'm walking in a building that looks like the art building at CSU. I'm not with Stan, but with Bill. He appears taller than IRL, and the weird thing is that he is holding a cigarette with a cigarette holder. I tell him that he doesn't smoke, and he says he's been under stress, and when he's under stress, he smokes. I find this hard to believe (and I'm sure it's just a dream fabrication...Bill's not a smoker). We start to walk out the building together and it's cold and precipatating. Then I realize I don't have my shoes on, so I go back inside and put my shoes on. Weird. Twice in one dream.

I'm not sure if this mini-dream segment is from the preceding or the following dream, so I'll throw it in here, kind of like an intermission. I was in a dressing room at some clothing store and Stan was with me (gender-free deressing room?). There was a young woman in her 20s or so who was getting dressed behind a curtain. She popped out in a state of undress, but she was mostly covered. She was somewhat plump, not fat, but...sort of like me...except she was young. And light blonde. I could tell that Stan was getting very excited about this, so he had to hide in a dressing stall until he was calmed down. I felt a bit jealous.

Stan and I are driving around East Towne Mall trying to find a pet store that was advertised on a sign as being at 732 Apple street or something (not a real Madison address). We're driving around all these builldings, in the back of buildings, and cannot find the pet store. Then I tell Stan that I'll go into a nearby mall and look for it, while he finds a place to park. I took the cellphone with me and somehow I am inside the mall where we had been driving before, which was weird. I'm looking all around the mall but I can't find it. I sit down in a central area where there are seats and for some reason, someone has left me some stupid needlepoint thing to work on. (Actually, I don't know if it is needlepoint, or what it is...there's a fabric screen with a pattern, you have to fill it with a certain stich of yarn...is that needlepoint? I don't do stuff like that). So I'm working on this needlepoint, thinking it is the most ridiculous thing in the world and who should appear but someone we used to know and she says hi to me and she's more than happy to take over the needlepoint in a very cheery sing song manner (but of course...maybe she can make a ditty bag out of it to store her STD medication). I tell her that I'm waiting for Stan, and that I need to call him, so I call him on my cellphone. The weird thing is, IRL we only have one cellphone, but Stan answers it anyway. The connection is bad, so I'm looking for a payphone inside the mall to call him back on, but all the payphones are missing the phone (headset) part. It's really hard to find a way back out of the mall, but I do find one passage. I walk outside the mall to see if I can find him outside, but no luck. I go back inside (I distinctly remember an Asian/Middle Eastern import store at the entrance) and head back to the center where I was sitting. I think maybe he's gone inside to look for me by now. The woman we used to know is now gone. There are a bunch of people milling around, but no Stan. The only person I can ask is a mentally retarded person who has been there all along. He is bald with small features...looks a bit like the kid in Deliverance. I think I asked him if he's seen someone by Stan's description, but he is not of much help.

Posted by Ann on 03/19/06@07:17 AM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?
By Stan @ 08:15 PM CST:03:25:06 ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

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