These are old archived entries from my journal, Ornamental Illness. I have eliminated all graphics (except those in context of an entry) to save on my bandwidth usage.

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Saturday, April 12, 2003

What will they think of next?

Scented CDs.

Now if they could only make them "vinyl LP scented" for us old fogies who remember the good old days.

Posted by Ann on 04/12/03@01:28 PM CST ..::Link::..

Friday, April 11, 2003

I usually don't do the link thang....

But Pat sent me these links...absolutely hilarious.

Nuclear Moron

Gay Pictures of His Dog

Gotta love this guy...

Posted by Ann on 04/11/03@01:43 PM CST ..::Link::..

Thursday, April 10, 2003


Lucifer Sam and Plato play so well together. Stan says he's never seen two dogs play together as well as they do. You can tell that LS really looks up to P as a big brother. Last night they were sleeping on the futon together, facing eachother, their arms interlocked. Aw!

Had a sort of scary DW experience the other day. Went to Whole Foods and as we were coming back to the car, a 50-something man and his younger DW wife (I assume) pulled up in the spot next to ours by the driver's side. Stan had let me in the passenger door and walked around the back of the car to get in, but he had to wait a full minute at least for the DW to get out of the car. I don't know what her prob was...she had to adjust her hair and coat and then get a drink of water which was in the back seat which she had to access on the side of the car that was next to ours. It was like she was this primadonna and all the men (including her husband and Stan) had to wait for her highness to finish her royal DW duties. Man, she just oozed DW out of every pore in her body. Haughty bitchqueen.

Too many of those lately. Someone told them they could have it all....and they believed them. (I told that one to Tim and Stan once and they got quite the kick out of it).

Then there was the young woman in the cheese-tasting area. Both she and I were trying out the 3-year aged award-winning Dutch Gouda at the same time. I was going on how good it was to Stan (we did buy some), while she was complaining how bad it was to her boyfriend. It really makes me truly believe that so many women in this world are these meek and mild prissy things that can't stand anything with strength, character, sharpness or bite. And I'm not just talking about the Dutch Gouda. Welcome to the land of Wonder Bread, Golden Retrievers, perfect smiles and easy living. Wouldn't want anything weird or different.

Posted by Ann on 04/10/03@10:13 AM CST ..::Link::..

DREAM: Hieronymus Ghost

I think I had a dream where Hieronymus came back to visit me. I felt rather sad that he'd been gone. I hope he liked the new puppy.

Posted by Ann on 04/10/03@09:54 AM CST ..::Link::..

Monday, April 7, 2003

DREAM - Spanish Class

The dream started out pleasantly enough, although Stan and I were still in college. We were planning on taking the weekend off to go up north, but Stan had to go to his final class on Friday which was Spanish (Stan never took Spanish). We were planning on leaving right after his class, so I went to class with him so that he didn't have to come home and get me...or something. The thing was, I was really bored because I didn't bring anything to work on myself...all I had was a spiral notebook and some glitter crayola crayon, but I wasn't in the mood for childish drawing. The professor was rather young, younger than us. I was wondering if he would notice that I wasn't a regular student in the class or not. Then they were handing out tests to take. I didn't want to take the test, so I sort of eased my way out of the classroom. I think I told Stan that I would meet him back there after his class was over in 45 minutes or so. I'm not sure where I went...maybe home to get some jewelry. When I came back to campus, I found some women and asked them what classroom Stan's Spanish class was in (as if they'd know), and they told me to follow them. They were rather tall and could take longer strides than I could, so as I was following them into this older building, I kept getting farther and farther behind them. Then they were going down some stairs which were very poorly lit, so I had a hard time seeing as well. Eventually I lost them, and I was really mad because I had no idea how I would find Stan's classroom now. I had even left all my stuff...coat and the classroom and I was worried that another class would start and I wouldn't be able to enter to retrieve them. I also had the cellphone in there, so Stan wouldn't even be able to call me to tell me where he was. I was so angry, that I yell out (not IRL...just in the dream) "You f*ck*ng c*nts!" at the women who "lost" me. I saw some guy in the hallway who was being carried away by two looks as if he was arrested. It was most surreal, and I was most frustrated and I wake up and moan/scream outloud.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I go back to sleep and start to dream it over, except this time, I was being left behind by *short* people who could walk faster than me! I think one of them was Stan's biosister, Sara.

I also dreamt I was trying on a scarf around my boobs...sort of like a sleazy 1970s skank-style haltertop thing. I was modeling it in front of men who were leering at me...fortunately the men were young and attractive instead of old pervs, but still...disturbing.

Posted by Ann on 04/07/03@09:43 AM CST ..::Link::..

Sunday, April 6, 2003

DREAMs - Dog Morphing and More

For some odd reason I was at the doctor's (human...not vet) in an exam room with Plato. I was standing up and holding Plato and talking to some nurses/technicians. Then another nurse or technician walked into the room with a patient to get some information for her. I could tell the patient was younger than me...she was also shorter than me, but she had grey hair. I can't remember if she had a baby with her or not, but that was the gist of her conversation. For some reason this woman thought *I* was younger than her, and she said something like "Well, you'll find out when *you* have a old are you?" I looked at her sternly, smiled and said, "We're not having children." The woman was shocked and gave me a rather disgusted look, as if it was my duty to procreate. For some reason, although retaining his Boston Terrier shape, Plato appeared to look like a small Dalmation, with a bunch of small black spots.

I was on my computer, and someone from online was suddenly in my room asking me if I had any food. I thought it rather presumptuous of her, but instead of looking in my kitchen, I pulled down some menus on my computer to "see" what I had available. I told her I could make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She said "that's OK," as if she hoped we had a better meal available. Stan looked at me and wondered what the heck that was about. Then I was at a site with a bunch of Poser figures, but it was like they were real and plastic, not just virtual. They were like small plastic dolls with the same stock features for all the women, same features for all the children, but the men came in two types, young and old. The young ones were pretty generic and wimpy-looking, but the older ones looked like Paul Soglin! It cracked me up and I woke up laughing my head off.

Lucifer Sam and Plato were playing, but Plato again had morphed into another dogshape, this time a large black Newfoundland. Plato was putting a bunch of Lucifer Sam's toys in his mouth and spitting them out...there were small furry cat mice, balls and even matchbox cars (which we don't let the dogs play with). He starts to spit and choke, and I'm hoping that he didn't swallow anything dangerous. I tell Stan, "name all the items in Plato's mouth" in a joking sort of way. Then Plato starts to choke again, and I'm afraid he really did swallow something bad. Then he starts spitting out blood and it reminded me of Hieronymus's final days. I woke up scared to death, but relieved it was only a dream.

Posted by Ann on 04/06/03@09:57 AM CST ..::Link::..
By Ann @ 20:55 PM CST:04:20:03 ..::Link::..