These are old archived entries from my journal, Ornamental Illness. I have eliminated all graphics (except those in context of an entry) to save on my bandwidth usage.


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Saturday, May 4, 2002

Leper Messiahs

Last night, Stan and Tim and I drove to the place where Stan works to take a walk in the prairie and enjoy the most incredible spring evening after dinner. Afterward, Stan wanted to see the historical marker by the side of the highway that in his five years of working there, he never read. We knew it would be a commemoration for the mass grave that is on the premises that contains the bodies of the patients from the mental hospital from the 1800s. On the grave marker, it referred to it as an asylum, and showed an etching of the old, Civil War-era historical part of the building (the part that is now hung up in historical red tape, thankfully, otherwise if the county had the money to tear it down and build new offices, it would be no longer in existence). But we were all very surprised at what else we read. Not only, according to the historical grave marker, did the mass grave contain the bodies of the patients from the "Asylum," but it also contained bodies of the residents of the "Poor Farm" and the "Leper Colony." I kid you not. First of all, I thought "the poor farm" or "the poor house" was just a phrase that people from my parents' generation liked to scare their kids with..."if you keep spending all your money on records, you'll end up in the poor farm." Guess there was some basis in that scare tactic. But Leper Colony? In Wisconsin? Lepers in Wisconsin? I didn't know leprosy was possible in a cold climate like this. Unfortunately, the etchings of the Poor Farm and the Leper Colony appear to have been buildings that are no longer in existence. I guess that's just as well for the Leper Colony buildings, which didn't look to be all that much of architectural import, but the Poor Farm building looked like it would make a nice historical building to have been saved. Stan says there's traces of foundations in the prairie where he suspects that the Leper Colony buildings might have been. You learn something new every day.

Posted by Ann on 05/04/02@09:09 AM CST ..::Link::..

DREAMs-Series of Plagues Hit Fort Collins

I was travelling with Stan, I think, in a car. I also think we were travelling in Fort Collins, but I'm not really sure. The buildings were large red brick structures, like apartment or industrial buildings built in the mid 20th century, but they looked abandonned and were covered with a white coating, like powder or salt encrustations. It was as if a nuclear salt bomb had exploded. In another dream, I was in Fort Collins and had left my stuff with my parents in their basement. I went downtown to some restaurant and was seeing people from my past...not Colorado past, but pre-Colorado...New York past. Grade School. It was raining really badly and the gutters were overflowing. Someone told me that my parent's garden was flooding. I was worried that the water would seep into their basement and ruin all my stuff.

Posted by Ann on 05/04/02@08:48 AM CST ..::Link::..

Friday, May 3, 2002

Baby Birds

I saw a baby bird beak! The father also feeds them. I tend to scare him off more...I think the mother is getting used to me looking at her. I'm just so excited...now I know for sure there are babies!

Posted by Ann on 05/03/02@11:13 AM CST ..::Link::..

DREAM-You're in High School Again

I know I had more to the dream than this, but I can't recall it too well in a verbal format for it to make much sense. The part of it that I do remember is that I was in a high school, but I don't think it was a regression dream where I was a teenager...I was just *in* a high school. Then there was some sort of disaster that occurred and everyone had to climb up these strange radio towers...they looked like the Eiffel tower, but not as tall, not as dark-colored, and thinner. The school principal was at the top of the tower I climbed up on...he was directing the whole thing, telling who to get up in which order. Naturally, all the teachers had to get up toward the top and the students were toward the bottom. I was up toward the top, standing right under the principal...I had no idea why I got to be so high as I wasn't a teacher nor student. I was afraid that my grip would give out and I would fall.

Posted by Ann on 05/03/02@09:08 AM CST ..::Link::..

Thursday, May 2, 2002

No cellphone, no microwave, no SUV, not a single DVD, like Robinson Crusoe, as primative as can be.

I'd like to propose a new show on network television in the tradition of "Survivor" and "Pioneer House." A suburban family moves into our vintage 1908 fixer-upper in an attempt to see how the other half lives! They can't bring any of their own possessions with them. Nothing. Everything they use must be what is already existing here (in the case of clothing, comparable clothing to ours is provided, fitted to their own sizes). Yes, there are computers, (Macs) but they have to use a 56K dialup connection! The cars are old...mid-80s. Good God! There's a one-car garage...if your car was a Model A. So basically, it's relegated to storage, and trust us, at 1600 square feet, a humid, sandstone basement and minimal closets, you'll need all you can get. Did I mention...the salary gets cut to the size of our income too! Bank accounts, stock holdings, investments, all get eliminated before they move in, so any improvements that they need to do to the house will have to be done by these new residents themselves instead of hiring a contractor! Let's see who survives Ann-and-Stan-house! Oh, I forgot to mention...no video games for the kids either. Aaaaaagh!

Posted by Ann on 05/02/02@07:00 PM CST ..::Link::..

DREAM-More Horrorshow Potential

Stan and I were going to be visited from a guy we used to be friends with. We were very apprehensive about his visit, but agreed to it nonetheless. He had told us he was seeing a woman that I knew, if only virtually from a distance. The weird thing was, we were at this woman's house, and she was not there at all. I was in her bedroom looking for evidence that he was indeed seeing her. I was trying to find a diary or something she had written that would mention his name. I found a bluish-grey clothbound book that had writings in it, but there was no mention of him. I also had to go to the bathroom really badly. There was a toilet seat on the bed, so I was trying to go there, but it wasn't working. Then our former friend came in to the bedroom while this was happening. I was trying to hide myself from him, as well as this woman's diary. I finally got up, put the diary back on her dresser, and hoped that he wouldn't notice. It was rather scary.

Posted by Ann on 05/02/02@09:30 AM CST ..::Link::..

Wednesday, May 1, 2002

Remember September?

This was the article that launched her website...I read a small portion of "Death of Irony: Reports are exaggerated" back in the winter and thought that this really needed to be seen by the web. "Pat, you really should think about having a blog," I told her. Now it's up for everyone to read. So go grab a big mug of coffee and go read it now.

Posted by Ann on 05/01/02@09:47 AM CST ..::Link::..

DREAM-The Hanging Journal

This dream was partly based in reality. Before I went to bed last night, I noticed that my multihosted domains (which includes this one) were redirecting to my main account site, i.e., eyebalm. I submitted a high priority ticket to my host, but that's not a good thing to go to sleep on, as I worried about waking up to the unfixed problem (as it was...this site was down for about three hours last night). So I was in a paranoid state all last night. That's where the dream picked up.

I dreamt I was checking my email, but it was physical, like real mail. One thing was a very strange scrapbook that someone had illustrated themselves with magic markers. The illustrations were actually rather good, but they were all done backwards--one had to look into a mirror to read the text. Many of the illustrations were of me from pictures on my site that the illustrator had adopted. The title of the scrapbook freaked me out...it was something about me hanging myself and committing suicide, although the content didn't seem especially hostile, and rather supportive of my problem with my web host.

Posted by Ann on 05/01/02@09:15 AM CST ..::Link::..

Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Love is for the Birds

Those sparrows are at it again on my neighbor's roof. Really, our houses are so close together it's the only thing I can see out these windows. Maybe I'm just easily amused. I think they're sweet little birds. I've always wanted birds. My mom had a total of three canaries, individually, when she was young. I couldn't get birds when I was a kid because we moved too much. Then when I was a teen we got cats. And when I moved in with Stan our main mission was to get cats, so birds are pretty much ruled out of our lives. I knew someone who thought they could raise (not just have, but RAISE) birds with four cats. I don't need to tell you the natural disaster that ensued. I only know of one incident where the people have a cat and birds. The cat was raised with birds. It was taught from a very early age to respect birds. The cat also uses the toilet as opposed to litter pans. Exceptional cat. Caligula is very fascinated by the finches when I have the window/door open. He gets a squirt from my plant mister when he tries to jump up toward them. He can't get to them; there's a screen on the window. I just don't like him frightening them. I guess the finches and the sparrows are my surrogate pet birds that I never had.

Last night Stan and I took a drive in the country to hear the frogs croaking near the prairie where he works. On the way we hit a bird with the car...it just flew into our windshield. We felt very bad.

----

Last week was TV turn-off week. Personally, I think turning off your tv because some activist says you should is just as moronic as sitting in front of the boob tube all day. Both involve mind control, rather than you deciding what is good and bad and proceeding with the remote accordingly. I don't watch network tv except rarely, but I do watch cable. I love the channels like TLC, Discovery, History Channel, HGTV, Animal Planet, Travel Channel. I watched a very intersting show on the latter about the king and country of Jordan last night. What an amazing country from a geographical standpoint! I fail to see what is so wrong with watching the informative and educational programming on channels such as those. While listening to NPR, I am hearing plugs for this show on PBS that puts a family in a 19th century farmhouse to watch them survive like the pioneers used to. Um...isn't this a case of The Emperor's New Clothes? Just because it's on PBS and put in a historical (therefore, read "valid") setting doesn't mean it isn't just another variation on "Survivor" or "MTV's Real World." Puhlease. I'll pass on that one, thankyouverymuch.

I do have to wonder what all the praise for MisterRogers is. I never liked that show...especially when I was a kid. I wonder if it was taken out of the PBS context and put on commercial tv (as if that show could get advertisers), wouldn't parents be complaining about how mind numbing it is and how Freddie's niceynice somnambulent manner isn't just a little spooky?

Posted by Ann on 04/30/02@04:52 PM CST ..::Link::..

Mating Practices of the Common House Sparrow

From my computer room which is about three feet from the neighbor's roof, I can see sparrows fluttering about. I suspect they may have a nest in our eave or gable end of that side of the house, because whenever they fly, they fly upward above my windows. They'll sit on the neighbor's roof or perch on their gutter and mate. They're in that nest-building phase...it seems that it's usually the male that's the most prolific with gathering the nesting material. The other day I saw him holding a piece of indecipherable nesting stuff in his beak AS he was mating with the female. I thought that was amusingly weird. I told that to Stan, who said, "that would be like me holding a piece of wood siding while we had sex." I would not be impressed. But I suppose it's different for sparrows.

Posted by Ann on 04/30/02@11:03 AM CST ..::Link::..

Evil Plan

I got this link from Maria.

----

Your objective is simple: Criminal Activities.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Money

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first expose a rich and powerful ceo. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you will steal Fort Knox. This will cause countless hordes of mad scientists to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with nightmares, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three

Finally, you will activate your opening of the seven seals, bringing about nightmares for every man, woman and child. This will all be done from a Abandoned Church, an excellent choice if we might say.

These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.

----

I tried to keep my Evil Plan simple and practical. Didn't want to cause too much suffering...just want to pay my bills, you know? Didn't want to involve the fantastic or impossible, i.e., supernatural powers of alien demons, for example. However, I did think the opening of the Seven Seals would be a nice touch, if maybe only for my mild post-college-era fascination for Ingmar Berman films and high-school era fascination for Charles Manson's interpretation of Revelations (note: this is NOT an endorsement of Manson and HIS evil plan...just a fascination for his interpretation of Revelations and how it involved The Beatles in his twisted mind.)

Brownie points for whoever names the correct rich and powerful CEO!

And I like Mad Scientists. Anyone ever see "The Bride" with Sting as Dr. Frankenstein? Yum.

Posted by Ann on 04/30/02@10:49 AM CST ..::Link::..

DREAM-Real Horrorshow

Stan killed a man. I don't remember it taking place, it was as if it already happened once the dream started. I think it was in self defense, but it might have been a crime of passion too, it wasn't made clear. I don't know who the victim was other than later in the dream Stan would tell me a co-worker of his would say that her boyfriend seemed to have disappeared. She didn't seem too concerned about it as they were having domestic difficulties as it was. The killing took place in the basement/storage area of Tim's building, or at least that's just where the body was stowed. Stan was conspiring with me as far as what to do next. He didn't want to go to the police; he wanted to cover it up. I was very scared. At night he went to get an old car of his that he had back in the 80s. I stayed up at Tim's condo watching TV and waiting (Tim was out of town). Stan came up to tell me the body had been removed from the basement, but I noticed Stan's car was still out in the courtyard. I told him he'd better move the car. Stan was saying, "I will, I will, just give me a chance." But he was taking his good old sweet time about it. I was very scared as to what would happen next, whether we would have to dismember the body and put it down a disposal, or what. I woke up feeling very frightened.

The next dream was quite mundane in comparison. I was in the art studio at CSU. I was noticing that I had painted my easel with black enamel paint. Everyone else's easel was the default bluish grey steel. Someone had a set of weirdly shaped shelves that they had painted in a variety of rainbow colors. I was thinking of painting my shelves in whacky colors too.

Posted by Ann on 04/30/02@08:12 AM CST ..::Link::..

Monday, April 29, 2002

Spamming on the Evils of Spam

Changes are taking place at the finch's nest. This morning the mother looks awkward as she sits in the nest. Normally, she looked comfortable and cosy, but this morning she's askew. Perhaps the eggs have hatched and she doesn't want to crush the babies? The father is hanging around a lot, too. I was able to see him under the awning, fluttering around, kissing her on the beak. When he's not there, he's standing sentry on a branch of the pussy willow tree along with a sparrow and chickadee. I also saw a male cardinal today, although I also saw one in February, which was way too early.

---

How's this for absurdity...when I write to a friend (who only has email access through his job), his job's internet provider spams ME back, lecturing me on the evils of spamming, and includes my email back to me, along with all detailed headers. This is what it said (email address changed for obvious reasons):
----
From: "Mail" postmaster@mail.blahblahblah.net
Date: Mon Apr 29, 2002 11:28:39 AM US/Central
To: ann@ann-s-thesia.com
Subject: Deliverable Mail
Reply-To: postmaster@mail.blahblahblah.net

Delivery Succeeded: myfriend@mail.blahblahblah.net

The mail server for mail. blahblahblah.net does not want E-mail that fails the REVDNS spam test. However, your message WAS delivered.
In the near future, Your mail may be rejected without notice. Please contact your mailhost and ask them to do their
part in helping prevent SPAM and VIRUS propagation.

(then it listed all my headers with my original email)
-----

Gee, Dad, thanks for the lecture.

As I have said, things that try to be part of the solution are really part of the problem.

Posted by Ann on 04/29/02@11:46 AM CST ..::Link::..

DREAM-I'm on a Plain

Stan and I were visiting Stan's mom in Colorado, but it was very odd, it was more like our own house because it was old, but it was even odder than that. I was in a bathroom, in a shower stall, but I had my clothes on. It was more like I was looking around in the shower stall. I noticed that there were transoms over the stall areas, and through the transoms I could see the shower stalls of our neighbors. For some reason our stall was a bit higher (our house is on the highest spot on the hill on our side of the road IRL, but only by inches, and I don't think our house is any higher than our neighbors' houses) so I could see quite far, into many shower stalls. Our next door neighbor was still Rob, who lived next to us several years ago between 1997-2000. He was showering, but I could only see the top of his head. The paint in his bathroom was peeling a lot. It was green paint, and the layer beneath was white, which is what was showing through in the areas that had peeled off. Then Stan and his mom said they were going somewhere, and they asked me if I wanted to come with them. Part of me wanted to stay home. I was undecided. The dream ended with me standing with Stan looking across a prairie or plain, across large fields of grass, gazing into the distant landscape. There was a swatch of grass that was dried out. We were looking at plants in the garden. One was called a red vine--the stems were red, it had thorns, but there were no leaves.

Posted by Ann on 04/29/02@08:51 AM CST ..::Link::..

Sunday, April 28, 2002

Singing Dirges in the Dark

In between watching movies this weekend ("The Man Who Wasn't There" is excellent, BTW) was cable filler of the following--a documentary on Vladimir Lenin's continuous embalming (he is bathed monthly), a documentary on John Lennon's FBI record, and a Marx Brother's movie. Ironic, since I often times wonder which is it, really:

Lennon read a book on (Groucho) Marx
Lennon read a book on (Karl) Marx
Lenin read a book on (Karl) Marx
Lenin read a book on (Groucho) Marx

We can most likely safely rule out the latter, I think.

Posted by Ann on 04/28/02@05:46 PM CST ..::Link::..
By Ann @ 20:56 AM CST:05:20:02 ..::Link::..