Saturday, December 17, 2005

No Sh*t Sherlock!

Just for the hell of it I decided to check out the plagiaristic stylings of little bRyan. Two new entries since I last visited. Since those weren't my writings he's plagiarized this time (could I be boring the little pantyboy?), I decided I'd Google a few select phrases to see what comes up. Yup, dressing up in other women's bloggies again:

bRyan's December 16th entry

and the original at Xenogears. (Scroll down to the last entry on the page)

and here's bRyan's December 17th entry

and the original at Jan's and John's London Adventure.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one he steals from.

Posted by Ann on 12/17/05@10:12 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?


I don't know what it is about people around this time of year. I've been having major customer stress these past few days and today wasn't any different. But I won't go into it. All I know is that this weekend and next I'm going to hunker down in my house and not go outside at all. If customers get odd on the internet around the holidays, people in cars can only be 100x worse.

A few weeks back Tim called us and said he'd be in town this weekend, and we planned to get together in the afternoon after Stan gets off of work (his last working Saturday!). I hadn't heard from Tim, so I thought maybe he didn't make it up here. Stan got off work earlier than expected, and I totally forgot about the fact that Tim *might* be coming into town alltogether (too much on my mind, I guess). We decided to make a casserole type dish for dinner. As the casserole was cooking, Tim called and asked us where we wanted to eat tonight! D'oh! So we are inviting him over instead of going out. The thing is, and this has happened before, if we had decided not to make dinner for ourselves and waited on Tim, he might never have called us. And we'd be eating peanut butter sandwiches at 9 pm.

I hope Tim likes Buffalo and Pine Nuts...

Posted by Ann on 12/17/05@05:04 PM CST ..::Link::..A Whisper Inside.

Friday, December 16, 2005


Yesterday seemed to start out all backwards. Shouldn't one start the day to stressful customers, and end it with a peaceful drive through the woods? Yesterday morning started out ok...Stan, on his last Thursday off ever, except for Holidays, shovelled the walks from the previous day's snow, which left me plenty of time to pack up my ebay bead orders, and even receive a jewelry order and pack it up in time to take to the post office (this is a VERY busy time of year for me as far as selling my jewelry, as one can imagine!) Despite the previous day's near-blizzard, the streets were warm and melty, which made driving easy. We took care of postal duties, stopped by Jung's Garden Center to use up five Jung Dollars, ate lunch at 2:30 pm at a Mexican restaurant (what better time?) and then took a drive through the Arboretum. The sky was white and pink and milky grey, and the bare tree limbs were black dendrites reaching toward a sky of chalcedony and agate, just like some of the rings I was wearing. The whole scene was just like dendritic agate and chalcedony, it was so mineral. That's what I like about rocks is that they unintentionally immitate nature scenes.

I came home to a disturbed ebay customer, claiming it's taking forever to get her order. Turns out she had me confused with a different seller, and I eventually got an apology. I also came home to another large jewelry order, which is a good thing, but stressful nonetheless as I have to quickly take the items off my website so that someone else doesn't snatch them up during a last minute holiday rush. The ebay customer had me stressed all night. I hadn't even been able to open my mail until 9 pm. In it I found some green calcite beads I had ordered. Beautiful, rectangular stones of green, like spring. I hope it's not too far away, but it's not even officially winter yet.

Posted by Ann on 12/16/05@10:32 AM CST ..::Link::..8 Screamers.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

DREAM: SquirrelRat

I dreamt that Stan and I had a small rodent-like animal, grey, squirrel- or rat-size. It had some sores on its body and one of the sores went clear through to the other side of the animal, leaving a hole in its body. I noticed this and pointed it out to Stan. Then somehow, one of our male pets, which was either Lucifer Sam, Plato or Caligula, or a combination of all three, got ahold of this animal and started mutilating it, but not killing it all the way. I felt so horrible, because in the dream the squirrelrat was a pet too.

Posted by Ann on 12/15/05@09:02 AM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

With Apologies to Syd Barrett

sung to the tune of "Arnold Lane" of course

Ryan Plain

Ryan Plain
Had an odd passion
collecting words
website transvestite
All day and night

On his thighs sat his little laptop
Women's blogs, fishnet internet
He stole them
Oh, Ryan Plain
What a silly game, no one will ever know
Never know, never know
But someday they'll see!

Ryan Plain, Ryan Plain, Ryan Plain

Now he's caught - through a log referrer
His disguise is up
Pseudonyms torn off his limbs - he's naked!

Oh Ryan Plain
What a silly game
Now they know
Now they know, now they know
Now they all see!

Ryan Plain, Ryan Plain, Ryan Plain, Ryan Plain
He'll do it again.

Posted by Ann on 12/14/05@06:49 PM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.

Website Transvestism: An Epiphany

Arnold Layne

Arnold Layne had a strange hobby
Collecting clothes
Moonshine washing line
They suit him fine

On the wall hung a tall mirror
Distorted view, see through baby blue
He dug it
Oh, Arnold Layne
It's not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know
Why can't you see?

Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne

Now he's caught - a nasty sort of person.
They gave him time
Doors bang - chain gang - he hates it

Oh, Arnold Layne
It's not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know
Why can't you see?

Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne
Don't do it again.

Discrete and innocent by today's standards, in this 1967 Pink Floyd song Syd Barrett wrote about a transvestite named Arnold Layne. Yes, even in London's Swinging Sixties, I suppose transvestism was considered as Syd describes, "a strange hobby." Now, we hardly bat an eyelash at it.

I came to a sudden realization this afternoon. It's all about Sex, or in this case, auto-erotic pleasure. That's ALL it is. It has nothing to do with impersonating someone else's identity, or wanting glory or recognition the easy way, or swiping someone else's words because you're too feeble to write your own, or just being a little annoying shit for the sake of it. It's Website Transvestism. Just as your run-of-the-mill transvestite gets stimulated by wearing sexy women's clothes, the Website Transvestite literally gets aroused by "getting dressed up in" other women's writing, graphics, and various elements that make up a web site. Just as Arnold Layne got off on stealing see through baby blue panties off a clothesline, The Website Transvestite gets off on stealing text off of women's blogs, graphics off of female web designer's pages, and slipping them on his own site.

He's not getting off on the women themselves, he's not getting off on their writing or their pictures. He's getting off by putting it on *his* site. Graphics are his panties. Words are his bras.

Why can't you see?

It's all about sex. And that's it. And there's nothing more to it.

Simple little men are so easy to figure out.

Posted by Ann on 12/14/05@04:23 PM CST ..::Link::..A Whisper Inside.

DREAM with Plane Crashes

The weather outside was dark, cloudy and snowy. I don't know if I was outside or inside looking out a window, but I was looking toward the west-northwest. I hear a plane above me and it sounds very loud. In the distance, I see the plane flying toward the west, into the snowy distance. I then see another plane coming from the south, maybe about a mile away. It appears as if these planes will crash. They brush by eachother, causing the first plane to lose control and fall to the ground. Each time I have one of these dreams, I think it's real. This time was no different, and I remember thinking, "This really happened, it's not a dream this time." In the dream I turn on the tv, local station, to see if there is any coverage on this. I think they showed the plane wreckage in the downtown area of the city, however geographically this wouldn't make sense, since a mile west-northwest of my vantage point (front of my house) would put the plane wreckage over a lake. I also remember thinking these planes looked very ominous...black and lit up, like some odd spacecraft. This seems to be a reocurring motif.

Posted by Ann on 12/14/05@08:12 AM CST ..::Link::..2 Screamers.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

An American in Paris? or "Everyone Stole from Jack Fairy"

Last night I came across an odd URL in my referrer logs for one of my sites. It led me to a very odd journal at MySpace.com. Now I have always maintained that MySpace is nothing but a meat-market for teens and middle-aged men pretending to be teenagers. It's also a really ugly site host as far as navigation, not to mention cliquey. You have to be a registered member to contact anyone who has a site there. And, contrary to some naive teenagers' claims that I have read, not EVERYONE has a website at MySpace. Especially if you can do much better designing one on your own. Especially if you're famous. Especially if you're a rock star. Especially if you're a rock star named Brian Molko of Placebo.

The name sounded familiar. I don't know much about Placebo, but I know they had something to do with one of my favorite movies, "Velvet Goldmine." I checked the IMDB, and yes, Brian was "Malcolm", singer in "The Flaming Creatures" in that movie. Where am I going with this? Well, this very odd MySpace site that I had found had taken some of my entries from this journal and copied them, practically word for word, into their site. Some of the words had been changed, i.e., sometimes "Mexico" substituted for "Colorado," or pounds sterling substited for dollars, not adjusting for the exchange rate, however. And the author of the MySpace journal? A supposed Brian Molko of Placebo. Now, unless you are the type of person who clicks on links in email that says "Your ebay account has been terminated! Click here to restore now", you know that it isn't the real Brian Molko. Why would he have a MySpace site? Why would any rock musician of greater or lesser known status mess around with MySpace?

No, this was a faux Brian. Perhaps it was a bRyan? Recently, I did notice a visitor from France who spent inordinate amounts of time at my journal. I suspect it was bRyan. bRyan does talk a lot about various places he likes in Paris. Obviously, that is not content stolen from me--not all of the content on that site is, just a great deal of it is. Note how the text looks different on some of the entries. Must have been stolen from different online journals from some other unsuspecting souls.

And in case you're wondering, the link to bRyan's site is here.

So what is this animal if not the real Brian Molko? Anyone can pretend they're anyone on the web. Name anyone famous--you can find a bio on them, get pictures off of fan sites, put them up on your own site, claim to be them, and you'll have flocks of little girlies and girlyboys naively leaving you litte love notes because they WANT TO BELIEVE you really are that person. The very funny thing is, when these naive little girlies post comments to "Brian Molko" how they love his dreams and "his" various posts, they're really telling that to me!

So we have an imposter pretending to be Brian Molko in identity, who happens to write like a 40-something woman. Or, we have an imposter pretending to be a 40-something woman who is using Brian Molko as her identity. It all gets rather Victor-Victoria...a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman...

I suspect this bRyan is one of two things:

1) Someone who has plagiarized me in the past, someone who recently graduated from college and is now living in Paris (where he thinks he can disappear from his past into a new Gay Parisienne life) on Daddy's money. "Since we're feeling so anesthetized", obviously a quote from a Placebo song, is on the imposter bRyan's page (click where it says "Brian" over the picture of "him") and this could also be a reference to my site, ann-s-thesia.com, a site that this person is quite familiar with. Since this person from my past has a history of pretending to be other people as well as plagiarizing my sites, as well as a strong bi- or gay self identity, he's at the top of my list.

2) Someone unknown to me, that happened to google something which landed them on my site, and decided to use my words to go along with their Brian Molko fan site (why, I have no clue), but then decided, no, they would actually BECOME Brian Molko. As well as Ann Stretton.

Regardless of which it is, what a pathetic life. It's one thing to be a fan, as I am and many people are. But another thing to become so obsessed that you want to fool people that you ARE that person. They must be really unloved, not to mention they have no creative bone in their body, otherwise they'd write their own music or lyrics. Or journal entries.

Posted by Ann on 12/13/05@12:18 PM CST ..::Link::..16 Screamers.

Monday, December 12, 2005

The sausage dream coming true?

I think I'm understanding the sausage dream - I'm turning into an office worker -- sort of...

I will have weekends off, holidays off, and I will no longer need to ever work past 4:00 p.m. All I need to do is change the kitchen equipment into papers and computers. I had this dream about office workers coming into a kitchen and eating all of the sausages. So... The strange thing is that one of my coworkers complained to me this morning that someone ate too many sausage links and there weren't enough for the residents. This was happening around the same time that the job sign up period was ending and I knew I had the new position. Weird, but in the dream I was keeping my current job and I was the person complaining about co. workers eating sausages.

Posted by Stan on 12/12/05@07:35 PM CST ..::Link::..A Whisper Inside.


I wonder if this will work?

Posted by Ann on 12/12/05@06:21 PM CST ..::Link::..3 Screamers.


The following entry was started on December 8, in regard to what Stan and I had been going through during the week preceding, i.e. Nov. 30 until this writing. I decided not to post it until I knew the status for sure. And as of this morning, everything looks good!


Thursday, Dec. 8.

This morning I stupidly accidentally took two high blood pressure meds instead of one, forgetting momentarily to take a birth control pill. After I immediately realized what I had done, I took the BCP, but unfortunately the 2nd blood pressure med was already down the gullet. D'oh! I did this once before. Felt weird all day.

Hopefully, if things go as they look like they are at the moment, Stan will get the cook's position at the courthouse. He had been hoping for this for YEARS ever since this project first came to light. But as things were going, it looked like they weren't going to use anyone from his "range" (technical term for the level of your job defined by the county). Major disappointment. Preceding my angry post last Wednesday re: privatization, Stan had told me that it looked like his current job (and everyone's current job at his present spot) will be phased out in a few years due to evil privatization. And without the courthouse for him to work at, he'd be looking for a new job entirely. But a strange thing happened last Friday. In the morning he asked his supervisor about transferring to another department (printing, perhaps) and what that would entail re: re-education and all. In the afternoon his supervisor told him to hold off on that...they were actually going to open up a "Range 11" job at the courthouse.

There was only one obstacle, and that was if someone else who had more seniority decided to sign up for the courthouse cook position, that would bump Stan out of it, even though Stan would be the most obvious choice to work there...he's educated, he has a flair for better cuisine than everyone else there, and his commute would be shorter than anyone else's, being that we live only 2 miles from downtown, he'd take the bus or bike in the summer. Everyone else, who lives closer to the current facility that's outside of a small town to the southwest of Madison, would be out about $1000/year if they took the courthouse position, factoring in gas, parking, and the fact that they wouldn't get a weekend pay differential since the courthouse will be closed weekends. With Stan, we'll come out ahead due to the fact he won't need to drive to commute so far anymore.

This is the part where I leave out a lot of the interpersonal dynamics and relationships at Stan's job.

As it turns out as of this writing, the one person that would've bumped Stan out of the courthouse job, signed up for her old job as the AM cook at the present facility. Perhaps there is such a thing as order and balance in the universe.

Of course there is the possibility that for whatever reason the 2-year contract for the courthouse cafe would not be renewed, and then in 2 years Stan would be out on the street. But I truly believe he's the best person to put in there to set a good impression menu-wise for the judges and muckety-mucks who will be eating there.

There are downsides, of course, but they're not big ones. Back in the early years of this job, Stan worked two out of three weekends, and every third week he'd have a "weekend" in the middle of the week. That was discontinued about a year ago or so, when they decided to give every other weekend off. I truly missed those mid-week "weekends" as they allowed you to do stuff when no one else was doing them. Now as far as mid-week time off, Stan only gets every other Tuesday and every other Thursday off, which also allows us to do errands those days which is nice because you're not met with the weekend rush. But with this job, he'll essentially be working early Office Worker hours...6-3 or someting like that, M-F. That means he gets every weekend off and every holiday off. I know most people would love that, in fact, I would've loved that if he had started out like that. But now it'll take some getting used to. I actually came to appreciate the fact that he worked weekends and holidays (if it was his scheduled day to work, not if he had to "fill in") because not only did he get the extra holiday pay, but he also got to "bank" those days and use the "holiday" later at a time when he wanted, mainly, to take a vacation with. The monetary concern is irrelevant, because he'll be saving so much in gas now. But it would be nice to be able to work holidays and bank the hours for later.

This means we won't be able to take the Route 66 trip. It's not that big a deal, it's more important to me that he gets the job and is there for the crucial first few months. We'll still take the Colorado trip in the fall, most likely.

We were planning on getting rid of the old gold van at the beginning of the year anyway, regardless of where he was working, and Stan would take the red van to work. This left me in a tenuous spot, not having transportation. If something happened to one of the animals and I had to make an emergency run for something, I wouldn't be able to do it. We decided that we would have to get Stan a cellphone that he would wear on him all the time in case I had to call him with an emergency (the phones at his job can't be trusted to get through to him). The cost of an extra monthly cellphone would still be cheaper than having that 2nd car. As if looks now, if things to as planned, I'll still be able to have transportation during the day if I need it, and forgo the extra cellphone.


Well, that's where I left off last Thursday. So things look good for now, and it'll be great for Stan to take the bus or bike to work in good weather. It'll also save him money, and it'll be a better challenge for him. The only challenge at his current job was dealing with some of the coworkers there. And that's not a good challenge. I guess the obstacle now is for him to get his (IMHO) better recipe ideas on the menu. Some people (at his present job) actually want to serve creamed spinach, cabbage rolls, pork chops and meatloaf on the menu. This ain't gramma's kitchen, this is a courthouse. With judges. Lawyers. Intelligent people who are going to want heart healthy, smart meals, not the My Little Ditka special. Should be interesting.

Posted by Ann on 12/12/05@09:32 AM CST ..::Link::..9 Screamers.
By Ann @ 10:12 PM CST:12:17:05 ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

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December 2005



12.11.2005 - 12.17.2005
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07.27.2003 - 08.02.2003
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