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04:21:2001 Entry: "DREAM"
DREAM
Most disturbing dream, again, with the same food theme as last night, as in, there not being enough for me.
I was at Tim's parent's house, except there was no one there that I recognized. Tim wasn't there, nor his parents. Stan wasn't with me either. I think there was this older nun woman, probably someone I invented who thought would fit in with Tim's relatives. There was also this woman about my age who I was helping move these weird foam mats up from a basement to outside. I was looking at an architectural rendering of their house layout. It was almost as if I could see the house in a miniature bird's eye view looking at the map, except I knew I was looking at a document because of the writing on it. Much of the house looked like how I remember it, at least the parts of the house I have seen, which is just the back entry way, the kitchen, and the bathroom. But there was this massive living area and bedroom area on the first floor. The master bedroom was named the "senior area." There was also a parlor, separate from the living room. And there was another long-shaped area called "viewing area" which I assumed was funerary in nature. It was also done up in very dark wood trim, to add to the Victorian funeral house quality of it. Then it was time to eat. The people who were there all sat down at a long dining room table. I then realized that there was a black maid serving us. She seemed like something out of the early 60s, not contemporary at all. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to be a maid, that she could do other things instead, but then I realized I didn't exactly have a lot of career advancement opportunities in my own life, so I decided to not say anything. I did not feel good about the fact that I was being served by a minority person, white guilt, perhaps. She was preparing a large bowl of food consisting of sliced tomatoes, mixed vegetables, and thinly sliced ham for us to pass around. She gave us bowls with some of the food on it already, but I didn't want the tomatoes because they didn't seem ripe, so I took them off my plate or something. The other people at the table and the maid viewed me strangely for doing that, like I was committing a faux pas by not eating unripe tomatoes. Then when I picked up the large bowl of food that I was supposed to pass around, there wasn't any left except for about a teaspoon each of the mixed vegetables and some other food...don't know what. I thought this odd, because the large bowl of food had started with me and I hadn't started to pass it around, but it seemed everyone else had enough food again, except for me. All I had was a couple teaspoons of food. I wanted to ask the maid if I could have some more, but I thought that wasn't right of me to do so. Then I woke up with a very large scream/jolt.
I could offer an interpretation of this dream and last in regard to the food theme, but I think it is rather obvious and transparent.