..::Previous entry: "DREAM"::.. ..::Main Index::.. ..::Next entry: "I Got You, Babe...I mean, I Got You, Stan."::..
04:21:2002 Entry: "Dicks"
Dicks
(a long post)
When I first got online and quickly put up a page shortly after that (at one of those free space providers) back in 1996, I was quickly immitated by a teenager I shall call "Jason." I don't know what Jason's problem was...I think he was seeking attention and didn't understand the concept of originality and copyrighted work. This sort of thing goes on all the time, but it was rather a shock, it being so early in my online career and all. Now there are groups to help people with this sort of problem, but at the time, I had no one to turn to. I was pretty freaked out, and I turned to the help of an online community that supposedly had members who should be well-versed in legal issues (or at least they'd like to believe that). Most of the members of this extremely loosely organized unofficial group were men, I believe. Now, I have nothing against men...my best friends are men. But there is a certain kind of man that I will not tolerate. That is the kind that when you are trying to explain something to them or ask for clarification, or even say something jokingly in a lighthearted kidding sort of way, they take it as an attack on their manhood and accuse you of being rude and start yelling at you with no provocation. This was the case with this online group...or at least one of the members that I contacted. He told me that he saw no similarities between my page and infringing Jason's. I told him that he needed glasses and included a smiling bespectacled emoticon: 8-) or something like that. This guy didn't know what an emoticon was, so he had no idea in what tone I made the glasses remark, so he starts accusing me of insulting him, getting very defensive. First of all, it was blatantly obvious that Jason was ripping off my page as a group of other people (women) found out later as Jason's theft kept on for quite a while. Second, the guy was just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. He didn't really care about helping people...he just wanted a high profile in this online community...ego strokes, as it seems so many men require. As I said, Jason's ripping off of my and other women's sites kept on for quite a while. It wasn't until about 1998 or 1999 or so that I realized that Jason was no longer doing this and that he had disappeared to who knows where. In the mean time he had bought some of my fonts. Yes, I did worry that he'd rip them off too, but I knew I couldn't live my life being in fear of something like that or else I wouldn't sell anything!
As it turned out, the tale and memory of Jason's obsession became an amusing anecdote. I have forgiven Jason. But the memory of the dick still remains, and it's not good. Despite having to seek out *REAL* legal advi$e to get a cease and desist letter to stop Jason from doing what he was doing, I harbor no hard feelings toward him. He was always polite to me, perhaps because he was too young to have much of a testosterone build-up, who knows. Perhaps because he knew he was guilty of doing what he was doing. If anything, I felt kind of sorry for him, something that I don't think many, if any, of the others he ripped off felt. But I'm still angry about the dick. He had no reason to treat me like that.
And there are more dicks like that where this one came from. People who when you ask a question of or ask them to clarify because you don't understand, they think it's an ATTACK. All you want is clarification, and you're explaining your position to them, that their instructions are unclear or misleading or that they're obviously not seeing the problem that you're having or responding to it appropriately. You don't raise your voice, you don't use derogatory language, you simply CLARIFY your position in clear language. Then they come back at you with the "Don't talk to me that way young lady, or you'll be grounded for life!" Dad-on-a-power-trip type language. What the hell? I bet if it was a MAN asking for specific clarification in the same exact manner, precise, detailed, questioning authority, yet non-derogatory, I would not get the same response.
All I can say is that I am so thankful that my male friends are not like that. Any that were became history in my life. Yes, I gave one a second chance, but he blew it...be a jerk to me once, shame on you, be a jerk to me twice, shame on me, but to hell with you. But I still try and live by the second chance rule, as I would like the same courtesy of people, but I am quickly learning that if given a second chance, that person will inevitably blow it. I am also becoming prejudiced toward a certain type of person (nothing racial or ethnic...nothing like that). I try to be open-minded, I try to be accepting, but this certain kind of person in its many permutations of different personas keeps acting the same way all the time. To be specific, I'm referring to the kind of person that is very good with putting things and boxes and understanding technicalities and has no room for experimentation or improvisation or thinking outside the box...to them things have to be done either the "right" way or they're wrong...not understanding that you did something that's not necessarily by the rules, but it's not necessarily wrong either, it's just a different way of doing it, and maybe it won't work the same exact way that something done the "right" way will work, but that doesn't mean it's bad either and should not be done at all. No, I don't want to use the word "Geek" because that's not all that accurate. Steve Jobs definitely thinks outside the box, but is undeniably a Geek, likewise I've known artist, namely professors, who definitely have a case of the "my way or the highway" attitude. I think it's more of an anal thing, in Freudian terms, anal retentive, more precisely.
I should just leave well enough alone. I should've just kept my mouth shut about Jason and then sought out the advice of a lawyer on my own, ignoring the online stage. Jason was harmless, but I didn't know that. Recently I developed a little problem with something that I shall call "the Blue Meanie device application hardsoftware gadget"...nothing major at all, just wondering why something was working a way that seemed defective. I asked about it on a forum and when I got the run-around ("it's because you're doing something wrong"--duh!), I suggested that he clarify what he meant because that is why people come to the forum, to get help, not to be told they're doing something wrong which is obviously why they're there, he accused me of being rude and mean and threatened to remove my post, whereas he was the one who had the hostile posts. Afterward, I figured out that I wasn't doing anything wrong...I was just using it in a different application that wouldn't work the way it does when used in the "by the rules" way, but that didn't mean that it didn't work at ALL in the way I was using it...it's just that once in a while it would get a little funky. I can live with the funkiness...I was just curious, is all, as to why it was at times, funky. And it didn't mean that it would self-destruct or blow up and ruin everything in its near proximity. The manner in which I was using it was harmless. Now that I know why it's funky, (because I'm using it in a non-conventional manner), I would normally report back and say "this is what I figured out...". But I don't owe them the courtesy of a response.
I would like to put in a plug for the very polite and helpful (and human-sounding!) responses I got from the Wacom tablet online support, however. Their customer service is wonderful. I guess you get what you pay for, and I paid for my tablets. The other thing, Blue Meanie, Inc., is not getting a dime out of me. Ever.