I had the looniest dreams the past few nights. I guess that means I’m sleeping for a change, eh? Here’s the one from last night: Stan and I were traveling, possibly in Denver. I think we were outside eating, maybe with some other people. There was a guy there who seemed gay, who I think knew the people we were with. They invited us over to his place. It was an apartment, but it was rather large and seemed like a multi-level or split level house. It was extremely neat and organized to the point that it didn’t feel like a home. I was talking to him and he seemed to get very flustered talking to me, and it appeared he seemed attracted to me. I did not find him attractive at all. I can’t remember too well what he looked like…30s, white, curly blond hair, odd glasses, geeky…it wasn’t so much what he looked like but how he acted, which was a sort of no-eye-contact monotone talking. Then I realized that what I took for Gay tidyness was actually an Asperger’s obsessive compulsive symptoms, which explained why he was attracted to me (he was hetero, not gay). It disturbed me a bit and I wanted to leave. I think Stan left because he had to go be with his dad who was in the hospital (his adpoptive dad has been dead for 13 years) and having another hip operation. We were going to get together later, but for now I had to find a way home with some other people who were there, one of whom was someone I used to know in High School. IRL I was taller than her, but in the dream she was taller than me. I couldn’t figure out how that happened. I was following her outside at night, but she kept trying to lose me, even though earlier in the dream she had been very friendly to me. It seemed like we were around the AG Clark building @CSU. I also remember something about Clint Eastwood and Anthony Bourdain. Wish I could’ve remembered more of that part than Mr. Anonymous Asperger Mumble Mouth.
This dream I had a couple nights before: There was a guy (biracial, medium-length tight dreadlocks, 20s) who was in the same room as Stan and me. Stan was busy and this guy was trying to seduce me. It was extremely cheesy because he was wearing fake vampire fangs. Like the kind you get at the costume store for Halloween. I even said something like “Oh please!” And I implied I was too old for both him and his silly Teenage Vampire wannabe stylings. He said that “Stan works all the time” and that I needed someone else. Then he pinched my breast. I was trying to ignore him, but then later came back and grabbed him in a sexual way. Here’s the funny part: right as I was about to get naughty with him, I was awakened IRL by Stan’s cellphone ringing. It was his job asking him to work. The irony. “Stan works all the time.” Because we really, seriously honestly had a lot of stuff to take care of that day, Stan had to decline the extra grueling hours on his day off. I’m glad that the cellphone interrupted that dream…it was silly. Stan doesn’t *always* work, take that, Mr. Silly Vamp.
I was in some sort of public setting, but the situation was foggy. Library, bookstore? There were 3 women there who were watching me suspiciously. They were white, sort of mousey-looking, Christian-like, wearing red matching gingham dresses in a very plain, depression-era style. You know how in I think Stephen King movies, possibly The Shining, there were a set of child twins who say things in unison? Am I mistaken? Well it was like that. Except they weren’t children (they seemed to be in their 30s) nor twins, nor triplets, but there were 3 of them and they sort of acted as a unit. I was also in the company of two other women (I have no idea who any of these people were) who were possibly twins, and they dressed in yellow.
I discovered that the triplets had been saying and writing bad things about me and the other two women, and had published these statements to a deck of playing cards. Each card had a statement that libeled us. I was sitting around a table with the other two women who were on my side and I was telling them that we were the equivalent of the Trio, except we were “the good guys.” I didn’t use that term, but whatever I said, that was the gist of it. I then was asking them if we could sue them for publishing playing cards with these libelous statements.
After Vladimir our 2nd cat died in November of 1998, I couldn’t bear being without a grey kitty. We adopted Caligula only a few days later. After Hieronymus our fawn pug died, we got Lucifer Sam 3 weeks later, which I thought was pretty soon to find a black Pug. After Persephone, our 3rd cat died, we waited over a month to get Apollo, timing it conveniently with Stan’s time off for a “Kitten vacation.” I was fearing it would be much longer before we could get a Boston Terrier due to our plans to be away in August. I knew we either had to get one soon, or we would have to wait until September. The thought of being without a Boston was tearing me up inside. I was so depressed every day. Our other animals were sad and missing him too.
I know that getting another animal does not replace the animal that precedes it. It is silly to think such. Each animal is unique and has its own personality. But what it does do is bring our focus from depressed to engaged again. It continues the cycle of life, of our life together with our animals…cat, pug, cat, boston, cat, pug, cat, boston, and so on.
I feel it is important that there are 2 of each. Having not had one like myself growing up, I know how much it sucks. Even though Lucifer Sam is a little freaked out by Jasper right now, soon they will be couch snuggle buddies together…a little pack of two. Caligula was a hiss-monster with Apollo at first, but now they sleep in touching symmetrical shapes on the bed together. Plato grrrred at Lucifer Sam when we brought him home and snapped at his head. We had to keep them separated for several days until Plato acclimated to him. But after that, they were buddies until Plato died.
When I have my 2 sets of 2, I feel much more balanced, like life is normal. And I can remember all my other animals that have moved on fondly, but not have to cry myself sick about it.
Apollo (yellow creamy cat in picture) is not sure what to think of the Puppy. Puppies are totally new to him. Caligula has seen it all before. His first new puppy was Lucifer Sam back in 2003. And his new kitty was Apollo not even 3 years ago. Lucifer Sam is reacting the same way toward Jasper as he did Apollo…running away from him when he chases him. Lucifer Sam is a little shy. I don’t know why. He’s always by my side.
We went from Plato’s Little Nursing Home to Jasper’s Little Nursery.
We have Jasper! And my photos I took earlier suck. I’m fine with the camera shooting jewelry and beads, but not so with wiggly puppies.
Jasper was born April 23. That was the day Plato decided to get old. The day he decided he couldn’t walk well or jump up on the futon. There’s something very strange “migration of the soul” about that.
We got him on Monday. He cried some that night, but last night he cried for freaking ever. I’m going without sleep–again–and my eyes are really dry and blurry (it’s a good thing I had my dreadful eye exam LAST week…they’d really have cause for concern now, not to mention how messed up my new prescription might be). I have him crated right now so I can write this down, and he’s being very good. I don’t know what his problem was last night…I was afraid police would knock on our door from being cruel to animals from the sounds he was making. We’re doing what we’re supposed to do when crate training, not giving into tempting cries, no matter how plaintive…and LOUD. Maybe he doesn’t like the dark. Maybe he likes it better when a blanket isn’t covering the crate. Maybe it’s best to put him away and wait a while until he’s asleep until we go asleep. Who knows.
Here’s a picture…it’s poor quality, but it gives you some idea of what he looks like. I was showing pictures to Stan last week of a potential Boston (that we didn’t get) and he said they looked like Plato. I told him that all Bostons will look like Plato now. Well, it’s not true. He doesn’t really look like Plato…his face is flatter, he’s cobbier, shorter legs, markings are a tad different, black instead of brindle. Maybe when he grows older I’ll start to see more similarities.
I hope to have better pictures later…my vision and photography abilities are pretty low right now.