Lots of bad dreams lately. The anxiety of the world must be getting to me.
A few nights ago I had a dream that I was at my parents’ house, in the living room with Stan and the dogs. Both dogs wanted to go outside in the front yard, but we didn’t have them leashed. (IRL, the dogs know they can go out into the fenced back yard unleashed, and IRL they would be gathered at the back door asking to get out, not the front door.) Jasper then jumped up into one of the open front windows. IRL, my mom keeps them at such a squinty opening, if open at all–one of those elderly things that cause younger people to gasp for breath in warm weather and that I swear I will never be like, ever, ever–this would be an impossible maneuver for even the tiniest of dogs. Jasper was staring outside like there was something going on out there that fascinated him. Then I hear the front door open and realize Lucifer Sam had pushed open the screen door. I went out after him and looked around for him but didn’t see him. Then I saw what appeared to be a badger (!?!) over on the side lawn. It looked like it had been eating something. When I went over to it, it ran away, but I saw the body of a fawn Pug lying on the ground. A horrible shock went through my body which caused me to wake up abrubtly, but still horrified and crying about what had happened. But Lucifer Sam is a black Pug, not fawn. Hieronymus was fawn, though.
I guess one could interpret the obvious symbolism of a badger representing Wisconsin devouring something I love. But wouldn’t a more accurate representation, if this is indeed about the politics of the state right now, be a badger destroying itself? Or perhaps a weasel attacking a badger.
Then last night I had a dream that I was outside in a public area, like downtown Madison or someplace, and I had Lucifer Sam with me. He was on a leash and there were other dogs around us as well. There was one dog that was interested in Lucifer Sam, but not in a friendly way, in more of a menacing way. It was large, maybe Lab-size, brown, pointed nose…looked a lot like the badger in my previous dream except it was dog-shaped instead of badger-shaped. The woman who owned this dog wanted our dogs to become friends, so she took her dog off the leash and Lucifer Sam off his leash (without my permission!). I then got angry because he was unleashed and started to gather him up, but he didn’t look like himself…he had a sharper snout and was a lot bonier and longer-bodied. Not very pug-like. But in this dream he stayed black.
Then that dream sort of morphed into the next one. I was going into a building with lots of stairs, sort of like the Capitol or a church like where Tim’s funeral was. My eyes were very bad and I couldn’t see to go up the stairs, so I had to hold onto the rail, but was hard to get over to it because there were a lot of people in my way. Then I think people realized I was hard of seeing and let me grab the rail. Once I was up on the next floor, I was talking to some people. I was also having a hard time hearing them as well, and had to put my ear close to their mouth. I remember some generic women and one man who was wearing a judge’s cape. This was not the right-winger running for WI Supreme court…this guy looked different and spoke liberally. I went to shake his hand, but his hand was shriveled and bony, like he had had polio or something. He showed me his hand to tell me he couldn’t shake mine. He was old, maybe in his 70s, but had stark black hair. I have no idea who he was. He also had on a purple cape over his judge’s robe. Then I remember the building was starting to look like the interior of the Inhumanities Building. I was sitting with these people all in very close proximity, knees touching. Then there’s this rumble, and someone said an earthquake is coming. I don’t remember feeling shaking as much as vibration from the noise. Then we all get down on the floor. Everyone starts piling on top of me, and I’m afraid that I’m going to suffocate. The rumbling goes on for several seconds, but it seems like a very long time. When it stops, we get up, but the ceiling seems lower than it was before. We all decide to leave the building. I can’t remember what happened after that, I think I woke up.