Building a Better TP

Following the Koch boycott as well as I can, I will be forced to find a substitute for the brand of TP I’ve been using for years. We tried Trader Joe’s, and it’s fine for…how shall I put this..a 1 or 2 swipe job. But when one requires more, you need a TP that is a little softer. This is why I liked the previous but now unacceptable Koch brand.

One thing that I think would be a great marketing device is putting political villains on the TP. Conceptually, this is a great idea. Of course it would be totally undoable because no one in their right mind would buy or manufacture a product like that because of the ink. Now if the image was embossed instead of printed in ink, now, there’s something that would work. Imagine the satisfaction you would feel taking care of your posterior after a big hearty meal of vegetables using a TP product covered with the soft puffy faces of Scott Walker, David and Charles Koch, and Jeff and “Eff” Scott Fitzgerald. A little too Wisconsin-esoteric-regional for you? Try the national media version with Limbaugh, Beck, O’Reilly, Hannity…you get the idea. Men down there not your thing? We could always put women’s faces…Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Sharon Angle…

I’ve got to figure out a new brand soon though, and I’m thoroughly out of ideas. I looked up Charmin on the web, and Greenpeace advises against it because it does not use recycled paper. (It’s also a junky brand and leaves too much dust behind, plus it reminds me of bad things because that’s the only brand my parents would buy).

I can’t believe it’s come to this.

About Ann

Painter, jewelry-maker, graphic designer, dingbat font creator, imagineer, progressive, liberal, Wisconsinite by birth and later by choice, dog and cat mom, sushi-lover and foodie.

2 thoughts on “Building a Better TP

  1. Could I wipe with embossed pictures of Ann Colter (or however it is spelled)? It would be really harsh tp and I would probably get roids.

  2. I was thinking earlier today that I should’ve included Ann Coulter in that pile of names.

    Her image would definitely have to be embossed on BLEACHED paper.

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