Tag Archives: atheism

The Carborundum

carborundum
carborundum
A couple years ago, Bill was helping my mom clean out the basement. I am fortunate to know a chemist, as I would have no idea what to do with all the stuff my dad had collected and stored away for all these years. I told Bill to keep a lookout for a piece of carborundum that my dad had. Carborundum is a man-made “mineral” that has industrial uses but also is collected by those of us who appreciate its aesthetic qualities. My dad had given me a very small piece of carborundum a long time ago…about the size of a thumbnail. In true father form, he never gave me the large piece which was a couple inches or so across, although it’s not as if he kept it out on display, or brought it out to enjoy once in a while. Just like with the carnival glass–stored away in the basement, hidden from view, while his daughter could be enjoying it, he was keeping it just because. Just because it was his, and he and generosity were strangers, except when it came to strangers–strangers in the name of the Catholic Church Charities–then he was generous.
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DREAM: Atheist Spiritual Guide

I had a very odd dream last night. I don’t know how to describe this…it seemed as if maybe I was in someone else’s dream rather than my own. I don’t mean that the dream was crazy and atypical for me with a foreign subject matter. I mean I was actually present in someone else’s dream while they were dreaming it…I wasn’t having a dream, someone else was, and I met them in both of our dream-states. It had a strange dark fogginess to it. You know how when you dream, dreams seem so real. Not this one. It seemed like someone used a filter over it. It was like I entered the dream from the back entrance. I guess that is what would happen if you weren’t the one doing the dreaming, but were a subject in a dream. You’d enter from backstage rather than the front of the theatre…so to speak.

Stan and I were in a church…pretty similar to the one where Tim’s funeral was. I have a history of church dreams where I dream I am in a church and I realize “I don’t have to be here. I can leave right now.” And I leave and feel wonderful. But it wasn’t me feeling out of place–that’s not to say I enjoyed being there, but I was there telling another woman “You can leave…you don’t have to be here. You’re an adult…you can walk out right now.” I was guiding her…I was…an atheist spiritual guide! Ha! What an oxymoron…but it’s like I was. I don’t know who the woman was…someone who was confused about spirituality…conflicted with her upbringing vs. what she actually believed…or didn’t believe.

In the dream she actually did start to leave, and she was telling me, yes, I was right…she can leave, and it feels great!