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Saturday, June 26, 2004

DREAM: Yellow-Jackets? What?

Right after I woke up after this dream, I could remember it so clearly, step by step. I could even script it like a play. However when I woke up it was sometime around 3 o'clock or so...I'll be damned if I'll get up to write down a dream at that time, so I just mulled it over in my head, hoping to recall as much of it by the time I got to transcribe it in the morning. Unfortunately, I fear some things got lost in the retranslation. So here's my best shot.

Stan and I entered an old house. The front yard reminded me of a couple houses we had looked at once, one to rent in Colorado on North Grant Street (we ended up living on South Grant Street), and the other to buy on Merry Street here in Madison. The rental was a puny little one-story built maybe in the 1920s/30s or so. The one we didn't buy was a rather large 1800 or more square foot (yes, that's large for me) two story built probably in the late 1800s. We couldn't afford it at the time we looked at it, even though it was selling at the time for what we later bought our current house for. Good thing though, it needed a LOT of work. Our house was in, practical terms, move-in conditon, although aesthetically it wasn't move-in. But the other old house had to have major work done to be just plain funcitonal. I am hoping someone was able to restore wonders to it as it had SO MUCH potential. What reminded me of those two houses was the fact it had pine tress in the front yard. But enough of the house descriptions, let's get on with the dream.

Well, I have no idea why we were there or how we got there, but Roger Waters was there too. I don't know if it was his house or what. Stan introduced me, and I held out my hand for him to either shake or kiss it, I'm not sure. I just happened to mention that I've had over 500 exhibits of my art (what a dumb thing to say, and there's no way I've had 500 exhibits...200 maybe, if you count ALL exhibits I've been in). Were we guests? I don't know, but I wanted to make conversation, but whatever I thought of to say, I felt stupid saying it. I wanted to say how much I appreciated his music, but didn't want to feel like a stupid fawning fan. I guess I felt a bit overwhelmed in his presence. For some reason, Stan left to get something in the car or do something outside, I'm not sure what, which left me alone with Roger, still trying to think of something not stupid to say or tell him. He was also feeling uncomfortable being around me because he didn't know me.

We were looking out the front door. There was a tree stump that looked a lot like our old apple tree that blew over about 4 years ago or so. Then Roger said something really stupid: 'Aw, isn't that cute.' I had no idea what he was referring to, so I asked him, and he pointed at a squirrel that was on the tree stump (I do recall seeing a squirrel sitting on the apple tree stump the other day and thinking it was kind of cute...must be where I got that from). Then I wasn't standing anymore, but lying on my stomach on a bed or couch or something. Then Roger got up, walked around to the other side of me and patted me on the butt and said something like, 'So, did you really want me to get (or get rid of, I can't remember which) those yellow-jackets for you?' I can't remember the actual words, but the gist of the conversation was that he would get me the yellow-jackets in a gallant, heroic act (why would I want yellow-jackets?). I smiled and we started laughing and joking about the yellow-jackets and immediately our converstaion opened up and we didn't feel ill at ease or nervous anymore in eachother's presence. Of course, as you'd know it, that's when I woke up. Oh, but there were no tickets to see him perform in Milwaukee, unlike my Brian Eno dream.

I do have a picture of Roger wearing a yellow jacket (it was raining, it was before the concert) from the 1977 Animals tour. And a picture of him with Sting...not that there's any relation...just one of those baffling dream mysteries.

Posted by Ann on 06/26/04@10:21 AM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?

Thursday, June 24, 2004

"Just" Desserts

I might lead a life of simplicity...not a lot of things, not a lot of connections, no family, hardly, to speak of. But some people's lives are so SIMPLE, even though they have a lot of material possessions, know a lot of people and have a big family. Rather, maybe I should say their life is EASY. They get what they want. They get vacations. They get holidays. They got resources. But they don't get it. They don't get it that some people don't get vacations or holidays or resources. They just don't get it. And you try to explain it to them, and they come back with the 'Well why can't you just...?' response. They don't get it. We can't 'just....' 'Just' doing that won't work, and it never would. Their life is so simple. Simple, simple, simple, simple minded people. I know I would hate their lives smothered by family and noise and inane babbling female chatter, yet at the same time I would 'just' LOVE to trade a few days with them just so they could see what we're up against. Why we can't 'just...'

So maybe I've been guilty of the 'Well why can't you just...' in my life too. I guess I did that when I didn't understand the person's predicament. Now I understand that they couldn't 'just' leave their kid with their husband while we went down to Chicago for the day because he WOULD MOLEST THE KID. OK. Now I understand. See, it's just a matter of understanding, and then the problem is settled. But when you TRY AND TRY AND TRY to EXPLAIN your situation to them (well, we can't JUST take off for a weekend because Stan can't trade his weekends he works because there's no one to trade with and the shifts have to be covered) and they STILL don't take your explanation as good enough and they continue to 'well why can't you just...' us to the nth time until you're going around and around in circles, it's 'just' pointless.

Just leave me alone. I enjoy being a hermit. You can't explain that to people. They JUST don't understand why.

I've stopped watching the news...it makes me ill. I stopped the day Reagan died because I couldn't stand the media bombardment of All Reagan All The Time. I watch Seinfeld reruns at night to end the day. I watch Pet Detectives or Pet Cops or whatever that show is that arrests people who allow their animals to live in deplorable conditions. I love that show...it makes me cry. I watch old shows on TVLand. Sometimes when I'm working on my jewelry in the middle of the day I turn on the Westerns, Gunsmoke and Bonanza. Bonanza is such a joke...it's like a comedy of awfulness, and the way they stereotype different ethnic peoples just makes me shudder. One of the better guest stars they had recently (heh...recently is a relative rerun term...the show is what...my age?) was Dennis Hopper. He played a son of a preacherman who became an atheist bounty hunter who lived alone and had no friends. I really liked his character. But by the end of the show, they had him going off to divinity school. I hate sad endings. They make me laugh. I much prefer Gunsmoke. I like the fact that the major characters are not married. Not that I'm not married myself, but I'm not Married with Kids, the latter 'with Kids' almost being an 'understood' part of being Married. If you're married, you have kids. Or you're working on it.

A tornado went through Madison last night. We didn't get much damage here, just the delphiniums got a little windblown is all, but I heard there was a big willow tree that fell a couple blocks away! I'll have to check it out. Most of the damage was on the southwest side of town. Lots of damage and a tornado touchdown. It was very scary and we were all down in the basement. I was truly frightened, this was the closest tornado scare we've had. I truly do not know what I would do if something happened to my house. I'd have nowhere to turn, nowhere to go. The people on the news were being such middle-class comfortable fools, saying 'it's always important to have a traditional land line phone in case your electricity goes out.' Yeah, tell it to my former idiot phone company. Lotta good a phone line did when it didn't work anyway. Right, everyone can always afford BOTH a landline *AND* a cellphone. I figure, hey, if my electricity goes out, let someone with a landline from my neighborhood call if my cell batteries have died. (I hear it now, those voices in my head 'well, why can't you just...?' BITE ME!!!!!)

You know what? I really like being unreachable. I like not having a landline. I don't mind having a husband who works every other wekeend and can't take time off when 'family obligations' (not death or tragedy obligations, I mean frivolous 'let's get together for another annual reunion like we haven't have enough of these lately' obligations), and I love having a husband who refuses to go to high school reunions. I just realized I missed my 25th high school reunion. Aw, what a pity. I guess I 'just' plum forgot.

Posted by Ann on 06/24/04@05:18 PM CST ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?
By Ann @ 10:21 AM CST:06:26:04 ..::Link::..Whisper or Scream?